Season 8 - The Mentalist
by Hayseed Socrates
Summary: What if The Mentalist was granted a short Season 8? Here's my take on the list of S8 episodes, with sneak peeks for the eps added in subsequent chapters. (This was great fun to write) 8.13, the Season 8 Finale is now up - White Knuckles. It's long for a sneak peek but it's the last one, so...I hope you enjoy this episode, and thanks for reading my imagined Season 8. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

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I don't own The Mentalist. No copyright infringement is intended.

AN: I had a blast creating a tongue-in-cheek potential lineup for that eighth season of TM - the one we'll never see. I might add some "scenes" from some of the episodes to this along and along, if they come to me. Please feel free to tell me if there are any of these that have any appeal to you as a reader.

I sure do miss The Mentalist.

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8.01

Brown Out

A terrorist group with ties to Austin nearly succeeds in knocking out a major portion of the western US grid, and Cho's team is called in to help with the investigation. Lisbon and Jane reveal their baby news to the team. Jane encounters some problems with the remodel.

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8.02

Yellow Card

When a soccer referee who is scheduled to officiate an important international match in Dallas turns up dead in suspicious circumstances, the team finds themselves navigating the world of international soccer in order to investigate. Patrick and Teresa spar on the subject of baby names.

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8.03

Black Coffee

The team delves into a child smuggling ring with ties to Columbia. The obstetrician tells a very pregnant Teresa she must give up caffeine because of her elevated blood pressure.

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8.04

Blue Eyed Boy

When the FBI has a data breach, Cho becomes suspicious of the well liked and ambitious Chief of the Austin Cybercrime Division, who is being groomed for a fast track up the FBI admin ladder. Patrick and Teresa welcome a son.

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8.05

Agent Orange

The team investigates a network that is illegally importing dangerous chemicals into the US, and a klutzy new agent. Joe Clementine, is temporarily assigned to fill in for Lisbon while she's on maternity leave.

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8.06

Gray Matter

A sleep deprived Jane matches wits with a brilliant neurosurgeon who resorted to eco terrorism to stop a controversial mining operation.

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8.07

Little Green Man

During a SETI convention in Austin, the family of one of the top scientific speakers disappears. Wylie asks a young astrophysicist from the convention out on a date.

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8.08

Purple Heart

Jane is critically wounded by a sniper during a team's raid on a anti-gay group wanted for hate crimes. Cho has doubts about his leadership qualities, and Lisbon reconsiders the risks of her job.

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8.09

Classic Navy

The team pairs with a homeland security team led by none other than Madeline Hightower to thwart a shadowy group's attempt to import weapons via the Texas coast.

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8.10

Khaki Pants

Wylie embarks on his first undercover assignment when he infiltrates a San Antonio tech company that received terrorist threats, and Jane suspects an inside job. When things take an unexpected turn, the team must pull out all the stops to get Wylie out safe.

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8.11

Green Eyed Monster

A senator's long time personal friend (an art dealer) is abducted by an international art thieves' group, and Director Schultz insists on bringing in the FBI's crack Art Crimes unit from DC to assist Cho's team.

Their lead agent? Marcus Pike.

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8.12

Pumpkin Pie

The Janes' plan to host the Rigsbys for Thanksgiving holiday is interrupted when a child pornography investigation erupts with multiple homicides. Wylie enlists Jane's help to pull off an elaborate proposal to his girlfriend Dr. Olivia Watson, astrophysicist.

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8.13 (Finale)

White Knuckles

An unexpected second pregnancy convinces Lisbon to take a permanent desk position with the Bureau, while Jane accepts a teaching post instructing new recruits on how to read suspects. One of his first students is a woman named Gail Sanders.

But Gail Bertram Sanders isn't there to learn.

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AN: I was well satisfied with the Season 7 ending, but hey, a gal can dream, right?


	2. 801 Brown Out

I do not own The Mentalist. Not a single word. Dang.

 _AN: I am truly overwhelmed by the response to my Season 8 suggestions but I realize it's only an indicator of just how much we all miss our show. I thank each and every one of you for your kind and generous responses to this piece. While I would love to see this season play out in detail, sadly I do not have the amount of writing time available to do one whole episode, let alone all of them. If anyone wants to take a shot at writing any of these episodes in full, please be my guest. I'd love to read your version._

 _In the meantime, I'll be adding a "Sneak Peek" for each episode, as I find time to write (my schedule is kind of crazy right now. I'm three pages behind just "reading" fanfic.)_

 _I'm going to write these in my own weird made up script format (ff won't accept Final Draft format) because in a sneak peek, we get snippets of various scenes, not sequential and not necessarily related, and I think a script format will work best for that. Please humor me and try and imagine you're seeing these scenes as a sneak peek for the episode. (Scenes won't necessarily follow) For those not accustomed to reading scripts, you'll get the hang of it. (V.O.) means voice over, for instance, which means you only hear the character's voice without seeing them on screen._

 _To those who are used to reading correct script format, I apologize. (I tried to do it in Final Draft and copy and paste, which was a no go, and there's no tab on the ff toolbar)_

 _Thanks for your patience. After all that yammering, here's my attempt at the first one._

8.01 The Mentalist

Brown Out

A terrorist(?) group with ties to Austin nearly succeeds in knocking out a major portion of the western US grid, and Cho's team is called in to help with the investigation. Lisbon and Jane reveal their baby news to the team. Jane encounters some problems with the remodel.

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 **INT. AUSTIN FBI HEADQUARTERS - DAY**

The team, consisting of CHO, WYLIE, LISBON, JANE, and new agents KAY BRANCH (35) a seasoned, tough cop, and LIAM RAMOS (30) macho but smart, sit around the conference room table. We see two suspects sitting in the interrogation room across the bullpen.

CHO: These guys are good. Very nearly pulled this off. One more step and millions of people all over the southwest would have been without power for days. We need to find out who put them up to this. They're not talking - all lawyered up. What do we have so far?

WYLIE: (perplexed) I can't find anything to link them to Middle East terrorism groups. Or homegrown terrorist groups for that matter.

JANE: These guys are smart, right?

RAMOS: Definitely.

JANE: So why didn't they finish the job? Why would people with such sophistication start something like this, get so close, and not finish it?

BRANCH: (annoyed with Jane) We stopped them, that's why.

LISBON: (annoyed with Branch) We got an anonymous tip with an hour to spare, and _then_ we stopped them.

There is a moment of silence. Jane rubs his fingers together in thought.

JANE: This has been all over the news, right?

RAMOS: Yeah, we came off pretty well actually. (in fake news reporter voice) "FBI Saves Western US from Darkness."

JANE: (thoughtfully) Who are the major solar energy dealers in this area?

Wylie starts pecking away at his LAPTOP.

BRANCH: Oh surely you don't think somebody would-

WYLIE: -Looks like there are four.

JANE: Any of them new to the Southwest market?

Wylie types some more.

WYLIE: Just one. Sun Gatherers, Inc. Headquartered in Ft. Worth.

BRANCH: (incredulous) I can't believe you're-

JANE: -Lisbon and I need to go talk to these people. (with amusement) Sun gatherers, eh?

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 **EXT. WAREHOUSE GROUNDS - DAY**

A SWAT TEAM readies themselves at their vehicles before breeching a warehouse. Cho is in charge, and he positions his people. Lisbon puts on her BULLETPROOF VEST and then hurries over into nearby bushes to VOMIT. She quickly returns to the group hoping nobody notices, but Cho sees all.

CHO: You're sick. You need to go home.

LISBON: I'm fine.

Cho sighs, but says no more. He gives the signal and the team begins its assault on the warehouse. An anxious Jane waits at the FBI vehicles, and notes with satisfaction that Lisbon does not go in the first wave of the group's invasion.

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 **INT. AUSTIN FBI HEADQUARTERS - DAY**

Cho walks into the bullpen, finds Lisbon at her desk. Jane lounges on his couch, one eye open.

CHO: Lisbon, can I talk to you?

Jane pops up to sit on the couch and Wylie takes note as well.

LISBON: Sure.

Smiling, Lisbon awaits what Cho has to say.

CHO: In my office.

LISBON: (with new seriousness) Oh.

Lisbon and Cho go into his office, and Cho closes the door. A nosy Jane and Wylie stand and look across the office through several glass panels, watching.

Cho says something to Lisbon, and she replies. Cho's face lights up with surprise, and then he laughs and hugs her.

Back in the bullpen, Jane looks pleased as punch, and Wylie looks confused. A beaming Jane turns to Wylie to enlighten him.

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 **INT. JANES' CABIN - NIGHT**

Lisbon sits at their makeshift dining table, reading. The scant remnants of a takeout dinner sit on the table in front of her. Jane, dressed in jeans and a rumpled work shirt, sits on the floor, putting screws into the back of kitchen cabinets with a power drill.

LISBON: You know, you don't have to get everything done tonight.

Jane turns to her, drill in hand.

JANE: (with emphasis) M'dear, our own little addition has compressed my time schedule, and I am determined that our home will be ready. If you want me to continue to consult on some cases, night work here will be a necessity.

Jane turns back to the cabinets, and the DRILL WHINES as he buries another screw. He revs the motor to start the next one, when the lights dim and then go out. Everything is PITCH BLACK.

In the dark, there are FOOTSTEPS and a CRASH.

JANE: Owwww.

The LIGHT of a flashlight appears and illuminates a FUSE BOX. Jane peers at the box, and fiddles with the switches.

JANE: (CONT'D) This wiring is ancient. (discovering something) Damn. The big fuse is shot. Can't handle power tools, it appears.

LISBON: You need to call Jimmy and have him come down here and help rewire this place. We don't want it to burn down.

JANE: Hmm. Maybe. (beat) But not tonight. We don't have any more replacement fuses. I'll have to make a trip to town. Home Depot will still be open, will it not?

LISBON: Let's just go to bed. You can get them tomorrow.

JANE: Uhh. Teresa. Hot morning showers?

LISBON: We can shower in the Airstream.

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 **INT. JANES' CABIN BEDROOM - NIGHT**

Bedsprings CREAK as Jane and Lisbon crawl into bed by the light of a flashlight. Lisbon wears an oversized short sleeve T shirt, but Jane wears a full long sleeve set of navy pajamas. Jane flips off the flashlight, and they lie in darkness.

LISBON: (V.O.) You need to get rid of those pajamas. You're gonna roast.

JANE: (V.O.) Ah, no fans. Guess you're right.

RUSTLING is heard.

JANE: (reacting to something surprising and shocking) Teresa? Feeling better, are you?

LISBON: (V.O.) (amused) What?

JANE: (V.O.) Are you sure you're up to this?

LISBON: (V.O.) It's called morning sickness for a reason. (suggestively) And don't worry, my circuits can handle power tools.

JANE: (with a mixture of shock and delight) Tereeeezzza?!

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FADE OUT

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So, what do you think? This first one is an experiment, to see if this is going to work. If so, I'll probably publish two episodes' sneak peeks at a time from now on, as I can wrangle the writing time. Thanks for reading.


	3. 802 Yellow Card

I do not own anything about The Mentalist, and no copyright infringement is intended.

 _AN: Thank you all so much for your comments. I appreciate them immensely. Most folks seem okay with the script format, so that's what I will continue here. Apologies to those who find it problematic, but it's helpful for me to think in visual terms, since I'm dabbling in writing a screenplay, and I can justify my time spent on these as practice. I am the queen of rationalization, if nothing else._

Just to remind everyone, Liam Ramos (30) is one of the new agents on the team. He is a rangy, muscular fellow with plenty of macho, yet quite intelligent. He's still a bit rash and green. Though he is likeable and has a good sense of humor, he secretly thinks he will ultimately be superior to Jane, who isn't even an FBI agent, and he disapproves somewhat of the "equal" status the team affords the consultant.

Kay Branch (mid 30's), the other new agent, is a straight ahead tough cop/career woman. She has earned her position and believes in the chain of command. She's not sure this is the best team for her, but it's where she's been assigned, and she's determined to give it her best shot.

And now for the sneak peek:

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8.02 – Yellow Card

When a soccer referee scheduled to officiate an important international match in Dallas turns up murdered, the team finds themselves navigating the world of international soccer. Patrick and Teresa spar on the subject of baby names.

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 **INT. AUSTIN FBI HEADQUARTERS – DAY**

Jane sits in the bullpen conference area, absorbed in watching one of the large screens that hangs high in the corner of the room. Liam Ramos walks up behind him.

RAMOS: Jane?

Jane ignores Ramos, and reacts with excitement to what he is seeing on the screen, pushing a fist into the air.

JANE: Yessss!

RAMOS: What are you doing?

Jane looks back at him reluctantly, not wanting to miss what is going on onscreen.

JANE: Research.

Jane turns quickly back to his screen.

Ramos is skeptical. Jane, with eyes in the back of his head, explains.

JANE: It's for the case.

Lisbon looks up from her desk across the bullpen and shakes her head with a smile.

LISBON: Good luck, Ramos. Never a peep about sports for twelve years and now I can't tear him away.

RAMOS: Kind of a sissy sport if you ask me.

Jane stands immediately, whips around and gives Ramos a disapproving stare. Lisbon stifles a smile and looks down at her keyboard. Ramos has things to learn.

JANE: Who told you to say that, your high school football coach? Meh, he was just mad because the best place kicker prospect in the school chose to be the soccer goalie instead of going out for football. Admittedly I am late to the party, but I find soccer - at the highest international level anyway - a very elegant game. I'm quite glad this case brought it to my attention.

RAMOS: (defensively, as Jane has apparently hit the mark about his football coach) Yeah? Well while you're watching ballgames we have a case to solve.

JANE: (not through) I have discovered that a referee's decisions – or even his style – can be very important in influencing the outcome of a match. Take the two teams in the match our victim was slated to referee. United is the more physical team. Lots of bumping, harsh challenges. They benefit from a referee who allows the teams to "play." FC, however, is lightning fast and relies on the finesse of their strikers to elude the defense. They benefit from a referee who is more strict, punishing those who throw elbows and hold players.

RAMOS: And how, exactly, does this help our case? (points up to the screen) You're not even watching United or FC play.

JANE: (as if it should be obvious) Noooo, I'm watching games our victim has refereed. To see which kind of ref he is.

RAMOS: (now realizing Jane actually was not ignoring the case) Oh.

The crowd on the TV game cheers behind him and Jane whirls around to catch the action. There is a replay of a soccer player weaving through defenders, cutting back, and sinking a spectacular shot on goal as he falls heavily to the turf.

JANE: Goooaaal!

Jane turns to Ramos, grinning.

JANE: When you can do that, (he motions to the screen) you can tell me it's a sissy game. And, by the way, our victim was a "by the book" ref. So if either team wanted him out of the way, it would be United, not FC that had him whacked. Or he was having an affair and his wife had him killed, I'm not sure yet. But I do think I've efficiently ruled out a number of suspects.

RAMOS: (sees he is beaten this time) Okay.

Ramos sits down at his desk facing away from Lisbon, and she allows herself a broad smile as Jane settles into his chair to watch more soccer. He is quiet for a few moments, then suddenly points up toward the screen, excited all over again.

JANE: (to no one in particular) Did you see that?!

The replay on the screen shows a shot on goal that hits the goal post, narrowly missing its mark.

JANE: That close. (holding his thumb and finger half an inch apart) That. Close.

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 **INT. ULTRASOUND SUITE – DAY**

Jane sits in a chair to the side of the exam table, watching as a technician runs the ultrasound transducer over his wife's poochy, exposed belly. The doctor enters, and stares at the screen.

DOCTOR: Do you all want to know the sex of the baby?

Jane and Lisbon exchange a glance, and nod 'yes' simultaneously.

LISBON: Yes. We want to know.

DOCTOR: Margaret got a great angle, and the baby obliged. Looks like you are expecting a little boy.

Jane and Lisbon look at each other, enchanted and giddy. (this makes it real) Jane reaches over and takes her hand.

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 **INT. AUSTIN FBI HEADQUARTERS – DAY**

The team is gathered in the break room eating closed case pizza, sans Jane. Wylie watches Lisbon in disbelief as she uncharacteristically wolfs down piece after piece. Jane appears, sticking his head inside the door. He holds a paper shopping bag in one hand.

JANE: Teresa, there you are.

LISBON: (with mouth full of pizza) Where have you been?

JANE: I knew you'd take care of my share of the pizza.

Wylie smirks good naturedly. Lisbon shoots him dagger eyes as she wipes her mouth.

JANE: (CONT'D) Besides, I had to pick up something.

LISBON: Which is…?

Jane pulls a tiny toddler sized FC team jersey out of his bag and holds it up so she can see the back. It has a number "7" with JANE lettered above it.

JANE: It's signed by the entire team.

He beams, infinitely pleased.

The FBI team nods their appreciation – even Ramos is impressed. Lisbon catches Jane's eye and they exchange a look of excited anticipation. This is for their son.

 **FADE OUT**

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 _AN: I've decided to include an entire scene (from 8.02) with the discussion of baby names between Jane and Lisbon as a chapter of my Partners series. So if you're interested, you can look for it soon. Shouldn't be too long, I'm nearly done with it already._

 _I planned to put two sneak peeks together on this series, but the one for 8.03 is skewing very dark, so I'll pair it with 8.04 in the next installment._

 _Thanks for reading!_

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	4. 803 Black Coffee804 Blue Eyed Boy

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I do not own The Mentalist. No copyright infringement is intended, and I have made no money with this, believe me.

 _AN: Here are the sneak peeks from 8.03 and 8.04. I'll probably be publishing two at a time from now on. (Remember, Ramos and Branch are the two new team members.)_

 **Black Coffee - 8.03**

The team delves into a child smuggling ring with ties to Columbia. The obstetrician tells a very pregnant Lisbon that she must give up caffeine because of her elevated blood pressure.

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 **EXT. WAREHOUSE PARKING LOT – DAY**

An FBI SUV and Lisbon's car both sit outside a sheet metal warehouse. Cho, Ramos, Wylie, and Branch don their vests and chamber their weapons, as Jane looks on. Lisbon holds her vest up in a futile exercise, but it is obvious she can no longer wear it. She shrugs. Cho nods to Lisbon, and she and Jane remain outside the large metal sliding door while the rest of the team files in, weapons drawn.

 **INT. WAREHOUSE – DAY**

The team invades the warehouse, each going a different direction, checking for bad guys.

BRANCH: Clear.

RAMOS: Clear.

WYLIE: Clear

CHO: All clear. Lisbon!

Lisbon and Jane appear through the door to join the team inside and they continue to search the warehouse, looking for something specific.

BRANCH: Here!

Branch points to a crate the size of a pickup truck bed, standing chest high. On the side it says COFFEE BEANS. KEEP DRY. The team gathers around.

CHO: Let's get this open.

Wylie locates a piece of metal that resembles a crow bar.

WYLIE: Try this.

They manage to pry the lid open, and pull the top off the crate. The inside is filled up to six inches from the top with coffee beans, but they see the tip of an inch and a half diameter tube sticking up above the surface of the beans.

RAMOS: What's that?

Cho digs beside it, and once he sees what it is, his efforts become frantic. Ramos sees as well, and pitches in to help him dig. They uncover the body of a little girl of about eight or nine, wearing snorkel gear. Cho shakes his head. She is dead. He hits the side of the crate hard with his fist.

BRANCH: There's another one.

Branch motions to the tip of a tube on the other side of the crate of beans. Cho and Ramos dig out another child's body, a boy of about the same age, also dead.

Ramos looks stricken. He has never seen anything like this. Branch stands stiffly, trying not to react.

WYLIE: (horrified) How could someone…? They're little kids.

BRANCH: (terse and controlled) Someone thought they could breathe through the snorkels, but the crates must have been filled too deep with beans. They ended up buried alive.

Despair mixed with anger clouds Jane's face as he turns abruptly and walks away. Lisbon stands silently as a single tear rolls down her cheek.

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 **EXT. WAREHOUSE PARKING LOT – DAY**

Lisbon pulls her car out of the warehouse lot. Jane is sitting in the passenger seat beside her.

 **INT. LISBON'S CAR – DAY – CONTINUOUS**

Jane and Lisbon are both upset, and they hold hands on the front seat console in an effort to comfort each other after the horrific reveal in the warehouse. They ride a few minutes in silence, then Jane speaks.

JANE: Do you think your brother would come down and do the electric work on the cabin?

LISBON: (Drawn out of her funk by the unexpected question) Yes, I'm sure he would. (beat) I thought you wanted to do it all yourself?

JANE: I want the remodel to stay on schedule.

Jane sets his jaw.

JANE: (CONT'D) But I have to help find the bastards who did this.

Lisbon nods.

LISBON: I'll call Jimmy when we get home.

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 **INT. OBSTETRICIAN'S OFFICE – DAY**

Lisbon and Jane sit side by side in chairs in an exam room, facing the doctor. There is a rumpled gown draped over the exam table nearby. Lisbon has already had her exam.

DOCTOR: You're thirty two weeks and things are coming along nicely. Good amount of weight gain, healthy heartbeat, good fetal movement. Your blood pressure is tending upward a bit, though. Nothing to be overly concerned about at this point. There is no protein in your urine to suggest preeclampsia.

Jane puts a reassuring hand on Lisbon's knee.

DOCTOR: (CONT'D) Do you drink caffeine? Coffee?

LISBON: I have been limiting myself to one cup a day, in the mornings. On a bad day, I'll have a second, but not often.

DOCTOR: I think you should discontinue your caffeine entirely. It's something easy to do, and it might be contributing to your elevated blood pressure.

Jane's eyebrows rise. Clearly this doctor has not seen his wife without caffeine.

LISBON: (stunned) No? Coffee? No coffee?

DOCTOR: Yes, it's only eight more weeks, or thereabouts, after all.

Lisbon takes a deep breath, realizing she must do this.

LISBON: Okay.

She nods a little too enthusiastically.

LISBON: Sure. I'll do this. I have to. For the baby.

Her words agree but her face says, "I don't know if I can do this" as she glances at Jane.

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 **INT. BEDROOM OF JANES' CABIN – DAY**

Steam rolls out of the master bathroom door as Jane picks his vest off the bed and puts it on. He is nearly dressed.

LISBON: (shrill) (V.O.) Where did you hide the damn shampoo! Are we late?

Jane sticks his head into the open bathroom door.

JANE: It's right there, on the ledge, behind the conditioner. No need to hurry. We have plenty of time.

We hear a small CRASH of something landing on the shower floor – a plastic bottle perhaps.

LISBON: (V.O.) Shit!

JANE: Need any help, dear?

LISBON: (with venom) (V.O.) I need for you to leave the shampoo where it belongs.

Jane eases quietly away from the bathroom door, grabs his coat, and hightails it out the door toward the kitchen.

 **INT. JANES' KITCHEN – DAY - CONTINUOUS**

Jane goes to the fridge and pours orange juice into a travel coffee mug, sitting it on the counter. Then he picks up his phone, unhooking it from its charging wire. He punches in a speed dial number.

JANE: (quietly, into phone) Cho? (beat) Do you have any suspects who need to be leaned on hard this morning? (beat) Great. May I suggest you assign Lisbon that duty as soon as she arrives this morning? (beat) The doctor has taken her off coffee - caffeine. (beat) You're welcome. See you in a bit.

Jane stashes the phone in his pocket quickly as Lisbon roars into the kitchen.

LISBON: Are you ready?

JANE: Yes and no.

Jane picks up the mug of orange juice and hands it to Lisbon, who scowls at him, and they head out the door.

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 **FADE OUT**

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 **Blue Eyed Boy 8.04**

Cho becomes suspicious of a well-liked and ambitious Austin Chief of the Cybercrime Division, who is being groomed for a fast track up the FBI admin ladder. Patrick and Teresa welcome a son.

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 **INT. AUSTIN FBI HQ – NIGHT**

It is late – most everyone is gone from the 5th floor. CHO bends over his computer, typing. Clicks the mouse. Frowns. Types some more. He stops, mulling something, and raises his eyes to stare out into the empty bullpen for a moment. He makes his decision and closes his laptop.

 **INT. AUSTIN RESTAURANT – NIGHT**

Cho sits alone with his back to the wall at an 'out of the way' table in a bustling restaurant. He takes a sip of his beer, squares his shoulders, then pulls out a burner phone and punches in a number.

 **INT. ABBOTT'S HOME IN DC – NIGHT**

DENNIS ABBOTT is clad in a T shirt and flannel pants, lounging on his couch doing paperwork. He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes, then goes back to work. His phone rings. He looks at the number and frowns – who is this?

 **INTERCUT: AUSTIN RESTAURANT/ABBOTT'S HOME IN DC – SAME**

CHO: If you know who this is, don't say my name.

ABBOTT: (recognizes the voice immediately) Yes, I understand. What's going on?

CHO: I need for you to call this number from an anonymous line. Sorry to bother you but I don't have many people I can trust.

ABBOTT: (sitting up straight now) Will do. Give me a little time.

CHO: Thanks.

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 **INT. WASHINGTON DC BAR – NIGHT**

Abbott punches in a number on a burner phone of his own.

 **INT. AUSTIN RESTAURANT – NIGHT**

Cho is finishing his meal, as he answers his phone.

 **INTERCUT: WASHINGTON DC BAR/AUSTIN RESTAURANT – SAME**

CHO: Yes.

ABBOTT: I'm on a burner.

CHO: Good. No names, okay?

ABBOTT: Got it. What's up?

CHO: I think the chief of cybercrimes here is dirty.

ABBOTT: (after a pause) Wow.

CHO: I don't know who I can trust. I was wondering if you had any suggestions.

ABBOTT: Who do you have on the ground there now? Can they be trusted?

CHO: The nerd is solid. The wife is about to pop and the husband is distracted, but present.

ABBOTT: (chuckles) Wish I was there to see that.

CHO: The two new ones are still question marks.

ABBOTT: How dirty is the chief?

CHO: As dirty as you can get.

ABBOTT: And you're sure? Evidence?

CHO: I'm sure. The evidence is out there but I don't have it in hand yet.

ABBOTT: The husband may be able to help you with that.

CHO: If I can get his attention.

ABBOTT: You're going to need more help, though. I will check into things and get back with you. Tomorrow evening okay?

CHO: Yes. (beat) Thank you.

ABBOTT: No problem. Eightish?

CHO: Okay.

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 **INT: AUSTIN FBI HEADQUARTERS – DAY**

Cho, Wylie, a very pregnant Lisbon, and Jane are seated around the fishbowl conference room table with two other men in sharp dark suits.

SUITED MAN #1: Good work, Supervising Agent Cho. We've got all the evidence we need and here's your warrant. Why don't you go upstairs and arrest him?

Cho nearly smiles as he turns to Lisbon.

CHO: You figured out the crucial connection – you should make the arrest.

Lisbon looks at Jane, shrugs as if to say, 'should I'?

JANE: He won't resist. He's too arrogant. He'll think he's got it covered.

LISBON: (beaming) I'd love to.

 **INT: FBI AUSTIN HEADQUARTERS CYBERCRIME OFFICE – DAY**

Cho, Lisbon, Jane, and two other burly agents approach the office door that reads, EDWARD BENOIT, CHIEF, CYBERCRIME DIVISION. Cho knocks.

BENNOIT: Come in (V.O.)

Cho opens the door but lets Lisbon lead in. Lisbon marches (well, waddles) through the door like she owns the office.

LISBON: Edward Benoit, I have a warrant for your arrest. Stand up and move away from your desk.

BENOIT: (surprised, but cool) What in the world are you doing, exFBI agent?

LISBON: I'm arresting you for espionage, accessory to murder, and several other things. I can read you the list if you like. Put your hands behind your back.

Cho, Jane, and the two agents step forward in a show of superior force. Beniot allows Lisbon to handcuff him.

BENOIT: (with cold ferocity) This is a mistake you will all pay for.

LISBON: (confidently sassy) Nope. It isn't.

As the two agents escort Beniot out, Lisbon suddenly gets a disturbed look on her face, and looks down. Jane notices immediately, and looks at her with concern. Then he notes the legs of her pants are wet.

JANE: Cho, would you and these gentlemen take this criminal out, please. I need to discuss something with Lisbon.

Cho frowns, but agrees and other agents outside the door watch as they march Beniot out of his office in cuffs. As soon as they are out of the office, Jane turns to his wife.

LISBON: My water just broke.

Jane nods and takes her arm.

JANE: Let's get you to the hospital, m'dear.

.

.

 **BLACK SCREEN: 11 AM**

 **INT: MATERNITY WARD ROOM – DAY**

Lisbon sits on the hospital bed clad in a hospital gown. A fetal monitor is strapped to her abdomen and she is fresh and smiling, ready for this new adventure. Jane stands beside her dressed in blue scrubs. A NURSE enters the room.

NURSE: You two can relax. You're only 20 % dilated and 10% effaced, so it will most likely be awhile.

Lisbon grimaces slightly as a contraction begins, but blows a long breath out and closes her eyes, dealing with it well.

JANE: Are you sure you don't want me to hypnotize you?

LISBON: (obstinate – they've had this conversation before) No. I want to do it just like the Lamaze instructor said.

 **BLACK SCREEN: 12 NOON**

 **INT. MATERNITY WARD ROOM - DAY**

Lisbon is sitting up, looking pretty comfortable. An orderly brings a tray of food and places it on the table beside the recliner – the "husband" chair. Lisbon looks at it longingly. Jane takes his seat and pulls the table in front of him. He lifts off the entrée plate cover and looks pleasantly surprised.

JANE: Mmm. Not bad.

Jane picks up his fork.

LISBON: You're going to just eat that? In front of me?

JANE: I'm not the one who told you that you couldn't eat. That's their rules – just in case you need a C-section. There's no reason I shouldn't keep up my strength, Teresa. Here's a lemonade. Would you like this?

She glowers at him. He ignores her glare, and sniffs his entree.

JANE: (CONT'D) This smells surprisingly good.

LISBON: Chicken? Is that barbequed chicken? I hope you choke on it.

Jane shrugs, smiles, and takes a bite of chicken.

 **BLACK SCREEN: 5 PM**

 **INT. MATERNITY WARD ROOM - DAY**

As the nurse fusses with the IV, Lisbon is still sitting up, but looks a bit worse for wear. Her hair is rumpled. Jane is slightly rumpled, but mostly put together. A contraction comes on. Jane looks at his watch.

JANE: They're every five minutes now.

NURSE: Still only 50% dilated. We'll check you again soon.

 **BLACK SCREEN: 10 PM**

 **INT. MATERNITY WARD ROOM - NIGHT**

Lisbon is lying down now, drenched in sweat. Her hair hangs in wet tendrils, sticking to her face. A disheveled Jane periodically pulls her hair out of her face, which only serves to annoy her.

LISBON: (biting) I don't need my hair styled right now.

JANE: (trying to be soothing) Okay, I was just trying to keep it out of your face.

LISBON: Well, I –

She stops talking as an extremely hard contraction begins. She takes a deep breath and Jane coaches her as she blows it out, but it is clear she's losing the composure battle. Her face contorts in pain until the contraction ends, and she flops back on the bed, exhausted and nearly in tears.

LISBON: I changed my mind.

JANE: You don't want to have this baby? It think it's a little late for that, Teresa, don't you? Really?

LISBON: (ignoring his joke – she doesn't have the energy) I want you to hypnotize me.

Jane turns away from her to take a swig of his soda. He looks dubious and a little desperate. He turns back toward her with a mask of calm and confidence.

JANE: It's a bit late, Teresa. I'm not sure it can be done. I'll need to get you relaxed, and the contractions are coming pretty close together now.

LISBON: (viciously) Patrick Jane, you son of a bitch, as many times as I've had to keep you from hypnotizing people, and now you're balking? Do it, and right damn now.

Jane's eyes get big and he resolves to give it his best shot.

JANE: (in an even, singsong voice) Close your eyes and take a breath. Imagine you are...

.

.

 **BLACK SCREEN: 11:36 PM**

 **INT. MATERNITY WARD ROOM - NIGHT**

Lisbon lets out a loud grunt of supreme effort.

DOCTOR: Easy now. Stop pushing!

LISBON: (wtf look) Stop?

Lisbon lies back, panting. Jane strokes her arm, soothing her.

DOCTOR: Yes. Easy now. Breathe through this next contraction and don't push.

The doctor guides the child's head out and holds on tight as she frees a shoulder and the rest of the baby slips out. She towels the child dry.

BABY JANE: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Lisbon is instantly alert and focused again. She flashes a smile of disbelief when she sees and hears her child.

LISBON: Oh my God.

Jane has a ridiculous grin plastered to his face, and he grabs her hand and kisses it. She turns to him and their eyes both get misty as they stare briefly at one another, appreciating how wonderful this moment is.

DOCTOR: And we have a little boy. Dad, would you like to cut the cord?

.

 **BLACK SCREEN: 1:30 AM**

 **INT. MATERNITY WARD ROOM - NIGHT**

Lisbon sits in her bed, cleaned up, hair combed, holding her baby to her breast. Jane comes in the door, bearing a grande cup of steaming hot liquid. Lisbon looks up and realizes he has brought her coffee.

LISBON: If that is coffee, I take back at least half of the horrible things I said to you earlier.

JANE: The richest, darkest, blackest brew I could find.

LISBON: (looking at the baby) He's done here.

She arranges his blanket back around him.

LISBON: (CONT'D) Would you hold him while I drink that?

JANE: Of course, Mother Teresa.

LISBON: (chuckles in spite of herself) You've been waiting nine months to say that, haven't you?

JANE: Guilty as charged.

He puts her cup on her table, and gathers the bundled child from her, then sits on the chair beside the bed. Lisbon sips the coffee with almost religious appreciation. She starts to say something to Jane, but looks over at him and stops.

Jane is staring into his son's eyes, holding him close, completely in the moment.

She smiles, and takes another sip of coffee.

 **FADE OUT**

 **.**

 **.**

 _AN: I'm headed out of town for a couple of weeks, so it'll be at least three weeks before I get another installment done. I will finish them, though, when I get back. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed these._

 _Also, I have a confession. I know I should not have written that "Waaaaa!" as dialogue, but I couldn't resist the temptation to make BABY JANE an actual character. It gave me great pleasure, yes it did._


	5. Agent Orange 805Gray Matter 806

I do not own The Mentalist, or its characters. No copyright infringement is intended. No money made. Yada yada.

 _Here are the next two episodes' sneak peeks. Gray Matter got a little long for a sneak peek, but hey. (shrugs) I hope you enjoy them._

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.

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 **6.05 Agent Orange**

The team investigates a network that is illegally importing dangerous chemicals into the US, and a klutzy new agent, Joe Clementine, is temporarily assigned to fill in for Lisbon while she's on maternity leave.

INT: DALLAS OFFICE OF HOMELAND SECURITY – DAY

A dozen agents sit in a briefing room, including Cho, Wylie, Ramos, and Branch. An authoritative man in a sharp grey suit stands at the front of the room, addessing the group. His name badge says SUPERVISORY AGENT JEFF EWING, HOMELAND SECURITY - DALLAS.

EWING: (address in progress) As I mentioned earlier, we're already behind on this case. At least one group of the shipments already passed through Galveston two weeks ago – on the 12th. We have a list of known cargo, but that's it. We've divided the materials shipped into three categories. Homeland here in Dallas will investigate the whereabouts of all listed chemicals that might pertain to bomb making or other terrorist scenarios.

Ewing nods to one of the agents in the front row.

EWING: (CONT'D) Barnes, your DEA team will take the potential recreational drug related cargos.

Barnes nods back, accepting.

EWING: (CONT'D) Cho, your FBI team is assigned to chase the other chemicals. We don't know their intended purpose – one of them isn't even illegal. (shrugs) But we're assuming if it was smuggled in, someone's up to no good with it.

Cho nods his understanding.

EWING: Agent Bartles (he motions to a man standing to his side) will bring your teams up to speed on the assignments.

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INT: AUSTIN FBI HQ – DAY

Ramos, Branch, and Wylie sit in the fishbowl conference room. Another agent, JOE CLEMENTINE, opens the door to enter, holding a Styrofoam cup of coffee. As he passes through the door, his suit coat catches on the door handle and stops him, causes a little rip in the pocket.

CLEMENTINE: Damn, this is a new coat.

Clementine takes a seat by Wylie, sitting his coffee down on the table near a stack of files.

Momentarily, Cho and Jane meet outside the fishbowl door.

CHO: Hey, Jane. Thanks for coming in on this one.

JANE: Nice to see you, Kimball, but let's be clear. I work this case and Teresa gets an additional week of maternity leave, correct?

CHO: Yes. It's a done deal. Somebody in Homeland wanted you on the case badly. Kirkland must have mentioned you a lot back a few years ago.

Jane rolls his eyes.

CHO: The deal is official. You help on this and Lisbon gets her extra week.

JANE: Splendid.

Jane nods and they enter the fishbowl to join everyone else at the table.

WYLIE, RAMOS, BRANCH: (simultaneously) Jane!

JANE: Hi, folks.

He wiggles a hand, waving his acknowledgement.

CHO: Jane, this is Joe Clementine. He's been assigned to help out while Lisbon's on leave.

Clementine eagerly reaches to shake hands with Jane, knocking over his coffee cup in the process, sending coffee perilously near the files. Ramos reacts quickly, lifting the files away from the liquid spill.

TANGERINE: Oh, sorry. I'll go get some towels.

He hurries out toward the restroom, and as soon as he is out of earshot…

RAMOS: My God. That's the clumsiest human being I've ever seen.

BRANCH: If he ever draws his weapon, I'm hittin' the floor.

Cho desperately tries not to smile.

JANE: (To Wylie) That bad?

Wylie's terrified face answers his question.

JANE: Good to know.

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INT: FBI BREAKROOM – DAY

Jane sits his newly made tea (in turquoise cup) on the island, waiting a moment for it to cool. Wylie enters, heads to get coffee.

WYLIE: Hey, got any new pictures?

Jane beams, wasting no time pulling out his phone. Wylie looks.

WYLIE: Super cute! He's smiling already?

Clementine walks in and pours himself a cup of coffee. Then he moves beside Wylie, crowding his elbow onto the island as he attempts to see Jane's pictures, and accidently pushes Jane's cup to teeter at the edge of the surface in the process. Wylie lurches to make a major league save, catching the cup as it falls.

WYLIE: Whew!

Wylie sits the cup on the other side of the island and slings tea off of his hands.

JANE: (relieved) Nice save. Thank you.

CLEMENTINE: (oblivious) Cute kid. Boy or girl?

JANE: Boy.

Clementine exits with his coffee. Wylie's looks says" I told you so" and Jane's says "Now I believe you."

JANE: (empties the remaining tea from the cup and holds is possessively) I'm taking this home tonight.

WYLIE: Good call.

.

BLACK SCREEN – THREE DAYS LATER

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INT: AUSTIN FBI HQ – DAY

Wylie, Branch, Ramos, and Clementine sit at their desks in the bullpen, busily working. Jane naps on the couch. Cho enters the bullpen from his office. Everyone but Jane looks up at him.

CHO: The Hartford shipment is done and dusted. Good work, people. Only two more shipments to chase, and one of them isn't even illegal goods.

Just then the elevator door opens. In walks Lisbon, looking glowing and happy, toting a baby carrier. All their faces light up.

CHO: (cracks a smile) Lisbon!

WYLIE: You look great!

BRANCH: What do you have there?

RAMOS: Wow, and you had a kid six weeks ago?

Jane awakens instantly and hops up to greet her. He takes the carrier, sits it on Lisbon's desk, and reaches in to pick the baby up, making silly exaggerated faces as only a father can do.

JANE: (in sing song voice) And who do we have here?

The baby smiles at him, and Lisbon melts at their exchange.

Jane carries the baby around and shows him off while Lisbon chats with the other agents. Jane approaches Cho, who makes a face at the baby, making him smile again.

CHO: (deadpan) This is still a little hard for me to believe.

Jane grins, takes the baby over to Wylie's desk. Wylie looks at the baby with wonder and enchantment.

WYLIE: He's gorgeous.

He seems drawn to the child.

JANE: Would you like to hold him?

WYLIE: (with disbelief) Me?

JANE: Yes. I can see you want to.

WYLIE: (blushing a little) Well. Yes. If it's okay. What does it feel like?

Jane carefully transfers the child into Wylie's arms, showing him the proper way to hold him. Wylie snuggles the baby in like a pro and is totally mesmerized, instinctively rocking the child gently.

JANE: You're a natural, Jason.

WYLIE: (a little choked up) This is…amazing.

Clementine walks over to Wylie's desk.

CLEMENTINE: (a little too loud, spoiling the moment) I love kids. Can I hold him, too?

JANE: (thinking quickly) Sure, in a minute, but I think he's a little stinky right now.

LISBON: (overhearing Jane's words) But I just…

WYLIE: (catching Jane's drift, interrupts) Yup. (crinkles his nose) Definitely needs a change.

Jane grabs a diaper from the diaper bag and takes the baby from a conspiring Wylie.

JANE: Back in a few.

Branch, understanding the play, "answers" her phone.

BRANCH: (into the phone) Will do, right away.

She appears to complete the call and turns to Clementine.

BRANCH: (CONT'D) Hey, Joe, that was Jerry down in records. Seems we both need to sign some R82's ASAP.

CLEMENTINE: But…

BRANCH: C'mon, let's get it over with.

As Branch and Clementine disappear into the elevator, Ramos, Cho, and Wylie all look relieved.

LISBON: So he's the one?

They all nod vigorously. Jane's head appears around the corner down the hall, as he peers in to see if Clementine is gone.

WYLIE: All clear.

Jane returns to the bullpen with the baby as the remaining members of the team laugh and talk.

FADE OUT

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 **6.06 Gray Matter**

A sleep deprived Jane matches wits with a brilliant neurosurgeon who resorted to eco terrorism to stop a controversial mining operation.

.

INT: FBI BULLPEN – DAY

Lisbon sits at her desk typing. Wylie, Ramos and Branch are busy working as well. Jane is asleep on his couch. The elevator door swooshes and Wylie looks up.

WYLIE: Abbott!

Lisbon looks up and smiles broadly.

LISBON: Well, hello!

Abbott strolls into the bullpen, talking.

ABBOTT: Hi guys, I'm in town for a conference and had a spare hour. Thought I'd drop in and say hi. (stops in front of Lisbon's desk) How are you doing, Teresa?

LISBON: I'm great.

Abbott turns to look at Jane, who hasn't stirred at all.

LISBON: (CONT'D) Jane, on the other hand, is a bit worse for wear. Since I got back to work ten days ago, he's insisted on being the one to get up every night with the baby. Says if I'm going to be shooting at people I should be awake. (chuckles)

ABBOTT: So he's decided to stay on with the team?

LISBON: Part time only. We've hired a part time nanny, and Jane will consult on select cases only. He's going to be the (makes quotes with her fingers) "primary caregiver." Stay at home dad. Whatever you want to call it. He's here now because we're on the downside of a case that he offered to work to get me an extra week of maternity leave.

Lisbon rolls her chair over to the couch and gently shakes Jane's arm.

LISBON: Wake up. Dennis Abbott's here.

JANE: Mmmm.

Without opening his eyes, he repositions himself and goes back to sleep.

LISBON: See?

ABBOTT: Let him sleep. (with a twinkle in his eye) But I will need to see some pictures.

LISBON: If you insist.

She eagerly pulls out her phone.

.

INT: FBI BULLPEN – DAY

Cho addresses the team, which consists of Lisbon, Wylie, Ramos, Branch, and Jane (asleep on his couch).

CHO: We've got two crates of chemicals left to chase. Let's concentrate on the illegal one first.

COLLAGE of CHO briefing team, team asking questions, shots of Jane always asleep on couch.

INT: FBI BULLPEN – DAY – CONTINUOUS

CHO: Okay, everyone has a direction. Let's close this one quickly.

Jane opens his eyes, sits up, and lifts a finger into the air.

JANE: I'll work on the other crate. The one that's not illegal.

CHO: The chemical imported is completely legal, and the only crime we could charge whoever ordered it with is tax evasion.

WYLIE: Which would amount to (types)…about two hundred dollars.

CHO: Not worth our time. Why would someone go to this much trouble to save two hundred dollars?

JANE: Exactly! And that's what makes it interesting.

CHO: Okay. But I need everyone else on the other cargo.

JANE: Very well. Except I may borrow Wylie from time to time.

Cho glares at Jane.

JANE: Uh…not for long.

Cho is reluctant. Wylie looks back and forth between both men expectantly. Lisbon stifles a smile.

CHO: (realizes Jane is going to do it anyway) Okay.

Wylie grins. He loves helping Jane.

.

.

INT: FBI BULLPEN – DAY

JANE: Wylie, are you busy?

WYLIE: Not that busy.

Wylie looks up, fairly wiggling in anticipation of helping Jane instead of doing what he is doing.

JANE: A couple of weeks ago wasn't some mining company out west of here indicted for a nasty chemical spill?

Wylie types furiously.

WYLIE: Here it is. (reads) "Gallatia Mining Corp indicted for toxic chemical spill. Says the misconduct may have been going on for up to ten years. Blah blah. Gelatinous mats of toxins discovered along interior roadways on their property. It's a weird story.

JANE: Why would a company dump something so toxic on their own roadways, in a place so easily discovered?

WYLIE: Maybe they didn't mean to.

JANE: Does the chemical found at the mining company have any relation to the crate of legal chemicals that was imported?

WYLIE: I don't know. Give me a minute.

Wylie types purposefully for a few minutes. Stops, looks confused. Types some more. Suddenly a shocked look appears on his face.

WYLIE: Wow.

JANE: (impatiently) Would you like to share?

WYLIE: The gelatinous chemical found on their property is a combination of the imported chemical and a different, highly toxic chemical – some sort of solvent used in their mining extraction process.

Wylie looks confused again.

WYLIE: (CONT'D) But why would they combine it with something that would make it so easy to see and hard to clean… (the light dawns on him)

JANE: Bingo! (rubs his fingers together in excitement) Has there been opposition to the mining company in the past?

WYLIE: (typing) There was a citizens group that made allegations that toxic chemicals were being released illegally by the company – that was a couple of years back though. Nothing was ever proven. The suit was…(looks down the screen)…dropped. Nothing recent.

JANE: I need the names of the people in that group.

WYLIE: Okay. Give me a sec. (beat) Looks like the leaders were a local cattle farmer and a neurosurgeon. The cattle farmer is still in town. The neurosurgeon moved to Dallas over a year ago.

Jane lies back on the couch, thinking, while Wylie runs down the information.

WYLIE: Got the list. I'm sending it to the printer.

JANE: (up instantly) You are a scholar and a gentleman. Thank you. Back to the salt mines with you, so Cho doesn't get testy with me.

Jane walks over and pulls the list from the printer as soon as it falls. Wylie looks pleased with himself.

.

INT: FBI BULLPEN – DAY

The wall clock reads 12:56. Lisbon returns to her desk carrying leftovers from lunch in a bag. Jane sits on his couch, hunched over a laptop, two finger typing. He is immersed, and hardly notices her.

LISBON: What's so interesting?

JANE: Not sure yet.

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INT: FBI BULLPEN – DAY

The wall clock reads 3:25. Jane sits on his couch staring at the laptop. He frowns, hits the return, and then a look of pure enlightenment passes over his face. He puzzles for a moment, then snaps the laptop shut. The popping sound causes Lisbon to turn from her work and look at him.

JANE: Teresa, I need to take a short trip.

Lisbon frowns, tilts her head.

LISBON: Where? Right now?

JANE: Yes.

LISBON: Are you going to tell me what this is about?

JANE: (standing) I'll explain it when I get home tonight. I promise. Will you be okay with the baby alone tonight? I may be late.

LISBON: (in her boss voice) We'll be fine, but why don't you just tell me now what's going on?

Lisbon looks worried, however, which gets his attention.

JANE: I'm only 85% sure. I assure you Teresa, this is nothing dangerous.

Jane moves close to her to look her straight in the eye.

JANE: I won't go if you say "no," but I'm asking you to trust me on this. I'll explain tonight when I get home – or in the morning if it's too late.

LISBON: (takes a deep breath, makes decision) Okay.

JANE: (smiles gently) Thank you.

Jane kisses her on the cheek.

JANE: I may be late.

LISBON: We'll be there.

.

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EXT: MEDICAL CLINIC PARKING LOT – EARLY EVENING

The words "SAINT PATRICK'S CLINIC" sit high on the side of the three story building adjacent to the parking lot. A neatly dressed man with a graying beard approaches an Audi parked in a space labeled "DOCTOR'S PARKING ONLY." He sighs wearily and starts to open his door, when he sees an envelope tucked under his windshield wiper.

He frowns, picks up the envelope. It is addressed to DR. WILLIAM BRAZETIS. He looks around and sees no one who might have left it. Intrigued, he opens it, finding a note and Jane's FBI ID badge.

The note reads:

"Dr. Brazetis,

I know about the mining company incident and I want to help you. Please meet me at Cindy's Diner on W. Oak so we can talk unobserved.

Patrick Jane

FBI consultant"

Brazetis looks around the parking lot again and sees no one. He frowns. He sits down in his Audi and pulls out his iPad.

.

INT: CINDY'S DINER – NIGHT

Dr. Brazetis steps inside the door of the diner. He is holding Jane's badge, and looks carefully around the room. Jane is sitting in a back booth and catches his eye. Brazetis cautiously joins him at the booth.

BRAZETIS: What's this about?

JANE: I'm with the FBI. I know what you did – well, not exactly how, but close enough. You imported a big batch of a chemicals on the down low and somehow got them combined with the toxic chemical Gallatia Mining was putting out, so that they'd get busted.

BRAZETIS: I don't know what you're talking about.

Jane peers at him intently, finding confirmation of what he suspected.

JANE: (confidently) Yes, you do. But what you don't understand is that I'm here to help you, if I can.

Brazetis looks skeptical.

JANE: You see, I'm not hardcore FBI. I'm a consultant. My background isn't in law enforcement. (tilts his head) And consequently, sometimes my notion of justice diverges wildly from the mainstream, shall we say.

BRAZETIS: (suspiciously) Are you wearing a wire?

Jane takes off his coat, pats his chest, holds his hands up.

JANE: No wire. I understand why you did what you did. I applaud it, even. Though I will deny saying that if my colleagues ask.

BRAZETIS: (takes measure of Jane) I googled you.

JANE: So. You know where I'm coming from. You see why I might understand. I know about your family.

Brazetis nods reluctantly, letting down his guard.

BRAZETIS: We lived near that mine for eight years before she got sick. My wife would complain about the smell, but I could never smell it – not that I was home very much. I was always working. (anguish creeps into his voice) She died of acute leukemia three years ago. Our little girl died six months later – of acute leukemia. Annie was two years old.

The doctor's eyes are misty now.

BRAZETIS: They looked for a genetic cause, but never found a chromosomal abnormality. ALL is a type of cancer that can be caused by the solvents they use at the mine.

JANE: You thought the exposure might have caused their illnesses.

BRAZETIS: I can't prove a causal relationship, of course. But I began to spy on them. I spent hours observing, sneaking into their compound, trying to figure out how they were releasing that stuff. And finally I figured it out. There are a lot of gravel roads on their premises. In the hot afternoons, water trucks would travel those roads, spraying them with water to keep down the dust. (lifts finger) Only sometimes, it wasn't water. It was that volatile solvent in their trucks. They would spray the liquid solvent onto the hot gravel roads, and it would vaporize into the air.

He throws his hands up.

BRAZETIS: Poof. Magic. The chemicals disappeared. No evidence. No money spent on discarding those solvents in a safe manner. When I figured it out, I teamed up with a local rancher next door and we formed a citizens' group. Filed a lawsuit. The place was inspected, but they never found any evidence of wrongdoing. They must have stopped the practice temporarily, or they were tipped off. The mine provides a lot of local jobs.

JANE: No doubt.

BRAZETIS: Eventually when no evidence turned up, our group ran out of steam, and people brushed us off as crackpots. But I knew. And I figured out a way to catch them. The solvent can be combined with other chemicals to keep it from evaporating. Easy to make but hard to contain. So I had to be smart.

The waitress sits a glass of water on his table and leaves. Brazetis takes a drink.

BRAZETIS: I moved away, took this new position here in Dallas. And I waited. I went back on my days off. Told no one. Sure enough, once they felt safe, they started with the trucks again. I got the necessary chemicals through the black market, and then I snuck in and sprinkled them all over several of the roads. The next time they sprayed the solvent, instead of vaporizing, it combined with the chemicals to leave a bright orange, highly toxic gel. Yes, I "created" a nasty spill. But it got them caught. And now they're being investigated, and they can't deny anything.

JANE: Brilliant.

BRAZETIS: It's the least I could do for Carla and Annie. Though it won't help them.

JANE: You probably saved others' lives.

The doctor shrugs.

BRAZETIS: Maybe. You lost your family, too.

JANE: (soberly) Yes. I was a conman. I shot off my mouth on TV about a serial killer and he killed them.

BRAZETIS: I'm sorry.

JANE: Thanks. So am I.

BRAZETIS: You got him, though.

JANE: Yes, but it took years.

Brazetis nods. They share a moment.

JANE: (CONT'D) Here's the thing. If I connected the shipment of chemicals to you, I'm sure my colleagues eventually will as well. You need to destroy anything and everything linking you to that purchase. And any other evidence that might put you at the scene. I'm thinking you have forty eight to seventy two hours tops before they come looking.

Brazetis nods again.

BRAZETIS: I will do as you say. But even if I go to jail, it will have been worth it.

JANE: I get that too, but you do good work, right? Help people? With your (flails his hand in the air) doctoring stuff.

BRAZETIS: I'd like to think so.

JANE: What you did what illegal, but it was right. You've fixed what can be fixed. Now you need to move on.

BRAZETIS: I don't deserve…

JANE: Please. Take it from someone who wasted years with that. Your wife and child would want you to be happy.

BRAZETIS: You've moved on? How?

JANE: Yes. Finally. I'm happy again. I love someone. She loves me. And we have a new baby.

Brazetis smiles for the first time.

JANE: (CONT'D) You're a good man. I can see that. Don't waste the life you have left.

BRAZETIS: I failed them.

JANE: So do better next time.

BRAZETIS: (nods, slowly warming to Jane's ideas) Maybe. I'll try.

JANE: And if anybody asks, we've never talked. We've never met.

Jane rises to leave and puts a hand on Brazetis' shoulder.

BRAZETIS: Mr. Jane?

JANE: Patrick.

BRAZETIS: Thank you. And here's your badge.

JANE: (chuckling) Ah, yes.

BRAZETIS: Do you have a picture? Of your new family?

JANE: (smiles) Sure.

He pulls out his phone and shows the doctor a picture of Teresa holding their son. She is beaming. Brazetis smiles.

BARZETIS: They're beautiful.

JANE: Yes, they are. Take care, William.

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INT: JANES' HOUSE – NIGHT

The front door lock turns quietly and Jane slips into the dark house, moving carefully so as not to disturb. In the living room, Jane spies Lisbon sound asleep, sprawled in the recliner. Her right arm cradles the baby, who is asleep on her belly. Her left hand hangs off the edge of the arm of the chair.

A look of wonder and gratitude spreads over his face as he walks toward the chair, never taking his eyes off of them. He kneels by the chair and gently takes her hand, noting the ring he gave to her. He lifts her hand to his lips, kissing it reverently. She stirs and blinks.

LISBON: (whispering) Oh. Hey.

She takes stock of her position and how she went to sleep, and smiles at herself. Jane points to the baby and to himself, motioning that he will take the baby to bed. She nods. He picks up the sleeping child without awakening him and carries him into the other room.

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INT: JANES' BEDROOM – NIGHT

In bed, a sleepy Lisbon snuggles her back into Jane's chest, spooning. He cuddles against her contentedly.

LISBON: (closing eyes) So?

Jane runs his fingers down her exposed arm.

JANE: You want to know the whole story?

LISBON: Mmm. Nah. Too tired. Give me the short version for now. (yawns)

Jane is silent for a moment. Wondering exactly what he should say.

JANE: (thoughtfully) I attempted to give a good man a second chance.

Lisbon's eyes blink open. She frowns, then wiggles around to look him in the eye. His expression tells her how grateful he is for his own second chance.

LISBON: Oh, Patrick.

She puts her palm against his cheek, and kisses him tenderly. Then she rolls back over and again snuggles her back into his chest. He draws her tight to him and closes his eyes, smiling.

FADE OUT


	6. 707 Little Green Man

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I don't own The Mentalist. No copyright infringement is intended. No moolah made. Etc, etc, etc.

 _AN: First, thanks so very much to all the reviewers who have been kind enough to leave comments. You make my day brighter, and keep me writing. I was going to pair this episode with the next one, but this one went longer than I figured, and the next one will be longer and darker, so I decided to put this single episode up by itself. It's pretty light and fluffy. I hope you enjoy._

 **8.07 Little Green Man**

During a SETI convention in Austin, the family of one of the top scientific speakers disappears. Wylie asks a young astrophysicist from the convention out on a date.

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INT. FBI BULLPEN – DAY

Cho walks purposefully into the bullpen. Lisbon, Wylie, Ramos and Branch look up from their desks.

CHO: We've got one.

Just then, the elevator doors swish open and in walks Jane, holding his 4 month old son with one arm and carrying a diaper bag with the other. The team's attention switches from Cho to Jane.

JANE: Hey, folks.

Jane takes the baby's hand and waves it, making him chortle. Wylie waves back, but then realizes Cho is glaring at him and sheepishly drops his hand to his lap.

WYLIE: Sorry.

Cho sighs.

LISBON: Oh, I'm sorry Jane, we've just caught a case. Can't make it for lunch. Cho was just briefing us.

JANE: Ah. Oh well. (to baby) We'll just have to go by ourselves, won't we, little man?

CHO: Hi, Jane. (turns back to business) You all are aware that there's a SETI convention going on downtown, right?

Nods all around.

CHO: (CONT'D) The keynote speaker's family is missing as of this morning. Guy's name is Dr. Ira Godfrey. He left his wife Judy and their two kids in their Westin Hotel room this morning to go to a 9 am meeting. Nobody's seen them since. Kids are a 10 year old girl and an 8 year old boy. Cell phones left in the room. So was the wife's purse. Nothing missing but the three people.

Jane cannot keep an amused smile off of his face.

CHO: (CONT'D) No sign of struggle. No ransom request as of yet. No word of any kind. They just…disappeared.

JANE: I need in on this one.

LISBON: Nope, you can't. We promised Wendy a long weekend, remember?

JANE: Damnit. The one case I actually want to work.

CHO: Lisbon, you and Wylie go interview Dr. Godfrey. Branch, Ramos, you two get started with the hotel security footage.

JANE: Wait! I know who took them!

All eyes turn to Jane.

JANE: (CONT'D) A little green man, of course.

He smiles his most blinding, pleased with himself smile. The baby giggles. Cho rolls his eyes and they all get up to go to work.

JANE: (CONT'D) We'll just come with.

LISBON: You are not bringing our child to a crime scene.

Jane's eyes drop like a dejected puppy.

LISBON: I'll call you later. I may be late.

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INT. WESTIN HOTEL – DAY

Lisbon and Wylie exit a hotel room and walk together down the hall.

LISBON: Well, that wasn't very helpful.

WYLIE: True. Nothing missing from the room. Godfrey was too upset to get much out of him.

LISBON: We'll talk to him again a little later, when he's had time to calm down. Let's split up and talk to some of the other speakers at the conference.

Wylie pulls out two programs. Gives one to Lisbon.

WYLIE: I'll start at the bottom, you start at the top?

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INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE AREA LOBBY – DAY

Wylie, list in hand, goes to look at a poster on an easel in front of a conference room. It reads:

Dr. Olivia Watson

Assistant Professor of Astrophysics

University of Texas – Austin

"Improving Computer Models for Inferring Planet Occurrence Rates: An Update"

3:00 pm – 3: 50 pm, Orchid Room

Wylie looks at his watch. It's 2:45.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Wylie walks into the conference room full of empty chairs. A woman of about 25 is shuffling papers and checking things at the podium. She is a small brunette, not delicate or glamorous, but very pretty in a "girl next door" kind of way.

Wylie can't take his eyes off of her. He takes a deep breath, straightens his tie, and approaches the podium.

WYLIE: Hello. Ma'am. I'm Agent Jason Wylie with the FBI. (flashes badge)

DR. WATSON: (looks up) Hello.

WYLIE: We're investigating the disappearance of Dr. Godfrey's family.

DR. WATSON: Oh, yes. I've just heard about that. It's terrible.

WYLIE: I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions? You know Dr. Godfrey, right?

DR. WATSON: Yes, I know him. He's the chief of my department. (looks a bit flustered) But I'm about to give this…

People are starting to filter in and take seats.

WYLIE: Uh, sure. After your presentation I can come back…

DR. WATSON: That would be wonderful, if you can. I mean I want them to be found as soon as possible, of course, and if it's important I can do it now.

WYLIE: No problem, I'll just do other interviews first. I have a long list.

DR. WATSON: (with a warm smile) Thank you. Agent Wylie, I will see you after my talk.

He nods. Instead of leaving, Wylie walks to the back of the room and melts discreetly into a chair in the back row.

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INT. WESTIN LOBBY – DAY

Lisbon is talking to a short, bearded older man in a suit.

LISBON: Thank you for your time, Dr. Hunter, you've been very helpful.

As she turns away from him, she glimpses a blond man with a baby over near the fountain. When she does a double take, she can't find him.

Lisbon wanders through the lobby and as she gets close to the fountain, she sees Jane crouched, holding the baby so he can dip his fingers into the pool of the fountain. Because he is absorbed playing with the child, she is able to sneak up behind him.

LISBON: (pissed) What in the world are you doing here, Jane?

He turns. He's busted.

JANE: We're uh…we're checking out the fountain.

The baby smacks the water with his hand and laughs.

LISBON: (with venom) I cannot believe you brought our child to a crime scene.

JANE: (motioning around) It's not a crime scene, Lisbon, it's a hotel lobby with a fountain.

The baby picks up on the tension and starts to fuss.

LISBON: (realizes why he is upset) Oh, I'm sorry sweetie.

JANE: (stands up with baby) Mommy's not mad at you, punkin.

He bounces the baby, who reaches out for Lisbon.

LISBON: Come here, sweetie. Mommy's not mad at you. (glares at Jane, but continues in a sing song voice) She's just going to kill your boneheaded daddy.

JANE: (careful to keep his voice light) I'm very suspicious of that guy you just interviewed, m'dear.

LISBON: (frowns) You were watching me?

JANE: Well. (widens his eyes) Yes. (unperturbed) He's certainly hiding something. And he's very short. No taller than you, is he?

Lisbon tilts her head, conceding his points.

LISBON: It isn't often I can look a man in the eye while I'm standing up. And he was hiding something, wasn't he?

She makes a silly face at the baby and he chortles. She can't help but smile.

JANE: And did you check out Wylie?

LISBON: He's off interviewing other professors.

Jane subtly motions across the room with his head. Lisbon looks, and sees Wylie talking to a cute brunette – Dr. Watson. Wylie motions to a table in the large open bar area of the hotel, and they sit. She smiles. He smiles. She laughs. He laughs. They talk, animated.

LISBON: He's supposed to be working.

JANE: Oh come now. How many times has Wylie spent personal time working on a case? Besides, this is big.

LISBON: I suppose you're right. Wait, what's big?

JANE: Losing Vega was difficult for him. He needs some romance in his life. And he is positively smitten.

LISBON: (skeptical) You can tell that from here?

JANE: Without a doubt. (smiles confidently) Can't you? And so is she, I might add.

LISBON: (peering more closely) Yeah. I think you're right.

She snaps back to the matter at hand, and holds the baby out for Jane to take.

LISBON: Okay, you've had your fun, now take our son home.

JANE: Okay, okay. (takes the baby) We were done with the fountain anyway, weren't we, big guy? Say bye bye to mommy.

He waves at Lisbon, and helps the child do the same. The little boy makes a slobbery bubble of a smile. Lisbon waves back, melting, and gives Jane a kiss on the cheek.

LISBON: Now scram.

JANE: Here we go!

They disappear into the crowd.

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INT. FBI HQ – DAY

Lisbon, Cho, Wylie, Ramos and Branch are crowded into the break room, as Cho sits two pizza boxes on the counter. Jane pops his head into the doorway. He does not have their son.

JANE: There you are!

CHO: Hey Jane. C'mon in. Have some pizza.

RAMOS: Where's the munchkin?

JANE: Sitter. Lisbon and I are going on a hot lunch date.

BRANCH: Oooh, where's the hotel key?

LISBON: (blushing) We're going to check out that new Thai place down off of Congress.

RAMOS: That looks good. Let me know how it is, will ya?

CHO: Take as long as you want. Nothing's happening here this afternoon, and you cracked the case.

Jane looks pleased, says nothing.

RAMOS: I still can't believe a college professor would hire somebody to kidnap another professor's family just so he could give the main talk at a conference himself.

WYLIE: I dunno. Oliv…uh…Dr. Watson says academia is a (says the quote carefully) "vicious den of cut throats."

Jane gives Wylie a knowing glance. Wylie looks a little uncomfortable.

JANE: Well, I do have to point out that I solved the case in the first five minutes.

CHO: How's that?

JANE: Hunter couldn't have been over five feet tall, and he was insanely jealous of Godfrey's position. (shrugs) The little green man did it.

The group erupts in a flurry of boos and hisses. Ramos throws a wadded up napkin at Jane.

Jane grins his brightest grin and puts out his left arm for Lisbon to take. She puts her right arm in the crook of his elbow and they head out of the break room. As they walk away, unseen by Lisbon, Jane pulls a hotel keycard out of his pocket and holds it behind his back with two fingers of his right hand, so the team can see it.

They guffaw, and Lisbon turns back around to see why. Jane deftly slips the keycard into his pocket without her seeing it. She frowns and turns back forward, and the couple disappears into the elevator as the smiling team falls onto the pizzas.

FADE OUT


	7. Purple Heart 808

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Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or its characters. No copyright infringement intended, and definitely no money made.

 _AN: This was the episode that reviewers most mentioned wanting to see in my initial lineup, so I've made it a bit longer than the rest. Also an apology – I finally had to name the baby. I was trying not to, because I'm sure some will be put off by whatever name I choose, but it got awkward. I just couldn't keep calling him "the baby" any longer._

 _This chapter is obviously darker and more angsty than most, and I hope you find it satisfying._

 _(O.S. means off screen, for those not familiar with this)_

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 **Purple Heart**

 **8.08**

 **Jane is critically wounded by a sniper during the team's raid on an anti-gay group wanted for hate crimes. Cho has doubts about his leadership qualities, and Lisbon reconsiders the risks of her job.**

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EXT. POST OFFICE – DAY

Jane emerges from the post office holding his six month old son and carrying several pieces of paper. He's wearing his vest but not his suit jacket.

JANE: (to baby) Who knew that both parents had to be physically present to get you a passport? I didn't. Did you?

The baby babbles back to him.

JANE: Agreed, it IS ridiculous.

Jane straps the baby into his car seat in the backseat and settles in behind the wheel.

JANE: We still have three hours to make this happen today if I can get Teresa down here somehow. We need to get your passport back before her birthday, so I can surprise her with those tickets for the trip.

Jane picks up his phone, calls Lisbon. It goes to voicemail.

JANE: (frustrated, turns back to talk to baby) Christopher, your mother isn't answering my calls.

The baby babbles away.

JANE: I know, right? You should talk to her about that.

Jane has an idea. Punches a different number into the phone.

JANE: Wylie?

WYLIE: (O.S.) Hey Jane. What's up?

JANE: Seems Lisbon's not answering her phone and I really need to talk to her.

WYLIE: (O.S.) She must have already turned off her phone – she's headed to her position around back with Ramos and Branch.

JANE: You're at a takedown?

WYLIE: (O.S.). We finally got a location on God's Straight Army. Three teams are in on this one – it's a big bust.

JANE: Oh, right –the group that killed all those college kids at the gay bar. Where are you?

WYLIE: (O.S.). Outside their HQ building – it's at 13th and Redding. Sorry, gotta go. Cho's motioning for us to take our positions.

JANE: Thanks, Wylie.

Jane slips his phone into his pocket. Looks at the clock, thinks for a moment.

JANE: The only way we're going to make it back down here in time to get this done is to pick up mommy right after that bust goes down.

He fires up the car.

JANE: (CONT'D) Let it never be said that we Janes give up easily.

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EXT. PARKING LOT OF BUILDLING – DAY

Jane drives up, spots several FBI vehicles parked in a clump pretty far away from the aged brick two-story building and pulls his car up beside them. They are empty. He gets out and peers toward the building, getting up on his tiptoes. In the distance he sees several vested officers in various places around the building. The raid is poised to happen. He peers into his backseat. The baby is sound asleep.

Jane sighs. He's going to have to wait. He walks around to the passenger side of the car and opens the front passenger door. Pulls out the small diaper bag, sits it on the hood. Gently closes the door so as not to wake the child. He reaches into the side pocket of the bag and pulls out the passport forms and a pen. May as well get Lisbon's forms filled out while he waits.

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EXT. ROOFTOP OF BUILDLING – DAY

Two men dressed in camouflage come out the door onto the roof. One has a sniper rifle, and the other has a pair of binoculars. They walk around, looking out over the parking lot.

BINO MAN: Look. Over there.

He points to the group of big black cars in the lot and lifts the binos to his eyes.

BINO MAN: (CONT'D) They are coming for us, just like Zeke said. Bastards.

The other man peers over the edge, straight below them.

RIFLEMAN: They're already at the doors. I don't have a shot.

BINO MAN: Over there, by the fed cars. Bet that's one of them reporters.

Bino man has Jane spotted with his binoculars. Jane is writing on a paper on the hood of his car. The rifleman kneels and steadies his weapon on the short wall that edges the roof.

RIFLEMAN: I see him.

He focuses his scope sights on Jane, who appears in the crosshairs.

RIFLEMAN: (CONT'D) The news sent one of them fairy reporters out here so he could put it all in the papers how his kind was revenged, didn't they?

BINO MAN: (looks disgusted) No doubt. Filthy pervert, sinnin' against God. God's law is the only true law.

Shouts are heard coming from below as well as the sound of doors being forced open. The men on the roof look at each other with some desperation, realizing they're going down. The rifleman readjusts his gun, and looks back at Jane in the sights of his scope.

RIFLEMAN: Look at him, all prissy in that girly vest, writing his lies. (squints with resolve as he peers through the scope) The feds may have us, but ain't nobody gonna write about it.

He lines up his sights on Jane. Exhales. Just as he squeezes the trigger, Jane moves to look back into the car, checking on the baby.

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INT: BRICK BUILDLING – DAY

Agents have just battered down the door and Cho leads several agents inside, weapons drawn. He hears a rifle report, not close.

CHO: (into walkie talkie) Shots fired! All units – go!

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EXT. BRICK BUILDING – DAY

The FBI team members begin to emerge from the building. Some are talking with each other, smiling. Others are leading handcuffed men. The successful raid is over. Cho and Wylie walk out in front, heading back toward the group of waiting cars.

WYLIE: Do you hear…crying?

Faint sound of a crying baby.

CHO: (listens) Yeah, why?

WYLIE: (looks around) There aren't any residences around here.

They continue walking toward the FBI vehicles, listening.

WYLIE: (CONT'D) It's getting louder.

They both pick up their pace. The crying continues to get louder. Soon they are close to the cars.

WYLIE: That's Jane's car.

The driver's side of Jane's car is facing them. They walk up to the car. A diaper bag sits unattended on the hood, and they peer inside to see the baby crying.

CHO: Where's Jane?

WYLIE: I don't know. But Christopher's not happy.

Wylie opens the driver's side back door and lifts the crying baby out, comforting him. Cho looks around, sees no one, then walks to the other side of the car, where he sees Jane lying on the ground, his torso covered in blood. He is unconscious.

CHO: Damn!

He pulls out his phone.

CHO: We need an ambulance – parking lot at 13th and Redding. Officer down. I repeat, officer down.

He kneels down and places his hand over the wound. This is eerily familiar to him. From several yards away, Ramos sees that something is wrong and comes trotting up. Takes in the situation.

CHO: Ramos. There must have been a shooter on top of the building. Did anybody get him?

RAMOS: I don't know. I don't think so. I'm on it.

Ramos whirls and runs toward the building, sending free officers back in with his shouts. He runs past Lisbon, who is laughing and talking with Branch.

RAMOS: Lisbon, go to the cars. Branch, you come with us.

Lisbon is confused, looks toward the cars in the lot. Catches sight of Wylie holding a baby. She breaks into a run toward the cars. When she gets to the car, she can't see Jane on the other side.

WYLIE: The baby's fine – I've got him.

Wylie motions to the other side of the car with his head. Lisbon frowns, still not understanding. She hears Cho talking and hurries around to the other side of the car. Sees Cho kneeling beside Jane, putting pressure on his wound.

LISBON: Oh dear God, no.

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INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - DAY

Lisbon, Wylie, and Wylie's girlfriend Olivia (Dr. Watson) sit, waiting for news. Lisbon is tense and contained. Wylie is holding the baby, who is asleep on his shoulder. A doctor in scrubs walks in and they stand.

DOCTOR: Are you with Mr. Jane?

LISBON: I'm his wife. (looks expectantly at the doc)

DOCTOR: Hello, I'm Dr. Crecelius. We've stabilized your husband, at least temporarily. He has a collapsed lung, some broken ribs. We've put in a chest tube to reexpand the lung. Of more concern, his liver was damaged and he has some internal bleeding.

Lisbon stoically absorbs the news. Wylie puts a hand on her shoulder.

DOCTOR: We're currently getting a CT to help define the damage. Could be just a graze, could be more serious. After the test is complete we'll know more, and he'll be moved to the ICU no matter what the scan shows. The waiting room is up on the 5th floor - SICU. I'll look for you up there – it'll probably be forty five minutes or so.

LISBON: (nods numbly) Thank you.

DOCTOR: No problem.

The doctor exits. Lisbon looks at Wylie and Olivia.

WYLIE: We can take care of Christopher.

LISBON: Would you mind? Wendy (their regular sitter) is out of town.

OLIVIA: Of course not. We can take him to your house and wait if you'd like.

LISBON: That'd be great. He'll be happier at home.

She pats her jacket pocket.

LISBON: Oh damn. My keys are in my purse. It's in my desk at work.

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INT: AUSTIN FBI HQ – DUSK

Cho sits alone in his office. He finishes a short call, then stares straight ahead. He tilts his head down and covers his face with his hands.

Wylie and Olivia enter the bullpen. Wylie is carrying the baby, and they go to Lisbon's desk to get her purse. Olivia reaches inside, pulls out the house keys.

OLIVIA: Got 'em. (dangling them in the air) Keys.

The baby laughs and reaches for them. Wylie spies Cho in his office. Gives baby to Olivia.

WYLIE: Give me a minute, please?

Olivia nods. Wylie knocks on Cho's office door.

CHO: (looking up) Come in.

Wylie walks in, cautious.

WYLIE: Will you need me any more tonight?

CHO: No. Ramos and Branch are helping Pittman's team locate the shooter. They're close.

WYLIE: Okay then. Olivia and I are taking care of Christopher tonight.

A dark cloud hangs over Cho.

CHO: Good.

WYLIE: (hesitantly) You know…this wasn't your fault.

Cho stares at Wylie for a moment or two before speaking.

CHO: Whose fault was it?

WYLIE: Cho. (ponders whether to go on) Can I speak freely?

CHO: Okay.

WYLIE: I mean, you were honest with me when I wanted to transfer after Vega was killed, right?

CHO: Go ahead.

WYLIE: This wasn't your fault. I'm the one who told Jane the location.

CHO: I've been team leader for less than two years and I've already lost two people. That's some kind of a record. Maybe someone else should be doing this job.

WYLIE: Vega wasn't your fault, either. It was just bad luck. (takes courage and becomes more impassioned) Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Lisbon needs us now and if Jane…doesn't make it, she's going to need us even more. You're a good team leader. So lead. Be there for her.

Cho takes a deep breath and gives Wylie the briefest hint of a smile. Outside in the bullpen, the baby starts to fuss.

WYLIE: (CONT'D) I…should go. We're taking the baby to their house for the night – Lisbon is staying at the hospital. And I'm going to take Lisbon some things she wanted from home.

Cho stands.

CHO: I'll follow you. You watch the kid, I'll take Lisbon's things to her.

WYLIE: (hint of a smile) Okay. Um. (points to Cho) You might want to change shirts.

Cho looks down at his bloody white shirt.

CHO: Right.

Wylie turns to go.

CHO: Wylie?

He turns back.

CHO: Thanks.

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INT: JANES' CABIN – DAY

Lisbon is seeing Wylie and Olivia Watson out the front door.

LISBON: You two go on. My sister in law will be here in thirty minutes. Kay (Branch) is picking her up at the airport right now. Go home, get some sleep. I can't thank you enough.

Lisbon closes the door as they exit. She walks silently by the baby's room, peering in to see him sleeping peacefully. She walks out onto the screened porch and puts her hand on one of the wooden beams.

Flashback: Jane hammering away, sleeves rolled up, building the porch.

Lisbon walks back into the kitchen.

Flashback: Jane fixing her coffee, giving her an affectionate smile as he hands her the cup.

She walks into their bedroom, fluffs a pillow on the bed.

Flashback: She starts to get into bed, and sees a mint on her pillow. She smiles. Jane closes in behind her, brushes her hair to the other side of her neck and trails a kiss from her ear to her shoulder.

Tears fill Lisbon's eyes. She hears a knock. She dabs at her eyes and goes to the front door. Karen Lisbon, her sister in law, and Kay Branch are there. Branch waves "bye."

BRANCH: Let me know if you need anything.

LISBON: (waves) Thanks.

Karen pulls Teresa in for a hug.

EXT. JANES' PORCH – DAY

Teresa and Karen sit on the porch, having a cup of tea.

LISBON: It's so sweet of you to come. Wendy is in Honduras on a mission trip or she would be here to help.

KAREN: It's good for Stan to take care of the four of them all by himself for a few days. I'll be more appreciated when I get back. (smiles, then serious) How's he doing, Teresa?

LISBON: Last night they did a CT scan and they didn't see a lot of bleeding, so they decided to observe him. But about five this morning apparently he started losing more blood, so they took him to surgery. I saw him before his surgery – he was awake – kind of. He knew me. But he didn't look good.

Lisbon takes a deep breath, calming herself.

LISBON: (CONT'D) The doctor came out about nine after the surgery was over and said they think they've stopped the bleeding. He's stable, so they told me to come home because he'll be asleep for at least another three or four hours. I'll go back in a couple of hours.

KAREN: Don't worry about Christopher. I'll take care of everything here.

LISBON: I know. (puts on a brave face, trying to reassure herself) He's going to be fine.

KAREN: Of course he will. But no matter what happens, Teresa, we'll be here for you.

Lisbon nods.

LISBON: You know… (hesitates)

Karen waits, listening.

LISBON: All these years, I've never really understood what Jane must have gone through when his first family was killed. I thought I did.

She shakes her head slowly.

LISBON: (CONT'D) But I had no idea. I had no. freaking. idea. Because I'd never been that close to anyone- that intimate. And now…the thought of waking up and never seeing him again?

Lisbon wipes a tear from her cheek.

LISBON: (CONT'D) He's always been afraid I'll be killed on the job. I told him it wasn't a big deal. He shouldn't worry.

She swipes her hair back out of her face and sniffles.

LISBON: (CONT'D) At least Christopher is safe. To lose both of them? I'm just beginning to understand his fear.

Karen hugs her, and Teresa attempts to pull herself together.

LISBON: I should get back over there.

KAREN: No, you should lie down for an hour. I'll wake you up.

LISBON: (realizes Karen is right because she is exhausted) Okay. One hour…

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INT. CHO'S FBI OFFICE – DAY

Ramos sticks his head in through the open door.

RAMOS: We've got 'em, boss.

Another agent muscles the handcuffed rifleman toward an interrogation room.

INT. FBI INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY

Rifleman sits across the table from Cho. The sniper's arms are crossed despite the cuffs, and he leans back casually in his chair. His expression is one of smug superiority.

CHO: You've been charged with attempted murder of a federal agent.

RIFLEMAN: Well, that'd be your first lie, you govermint stooge. I nailed him, for starters. If he ain't dead yet, he will be. And he weren't no federal agent. Nossir. That dude was a dandy little fruitcake of a reporter, come to "cover" the takedown of our great organization. Whose only sin is to uphold God's law, I might add.

The rifleman leans forward, puts his elbows on the table.

RIFLEMAN: (with conviction) I saw him writin'. God told me right then and there I needed to get rid of that perverted sinner, before he had a chance to spread lies about us in his paper.

CHO: So you admit shooting the man in the parking lot from the roof.

RIFLEMAN: (repulsed) If you can call that "kind" a man.

CHO: You're stupid, you need to find a smarter God, and you're a bad shot. That man you tried to kill is an FBI consultant. He's straight, and he's married to one of our female agents. They have a new baby boy. He was there to pick up his wife.

Shock and disbelief cloud the man's face. He sags in his chair.

RIFLEMAN: That's bullshit. He had a purse.

CHO: He had a diaper bag. His son was in the car.

Rifleman frowns, now shaken, realizing he _has_ made a mistake. Cho sets his jaw. His anger shows through the stoicism enough that the rifleman knows he is dealing with a formidable man.

CHO: If our man dies, I'm going to personally see to it that they put you in a place where you'll forget what daylight ever looked like.

Cho closes the file, picks it up, and walks out.

Rifleman is left sitting alone, and he looks scared.

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INT: ICU HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Lisbon walks into Jane's ICU cubicle. He is lying with his eyes closed, hooked up to several tubes. Monitors beep and lights flash all around. She smiles a bittersweet smile and takes his hand. He stirs.

LISBON: Hey.

His eyes flutter open, and she sees recognition in them. Jane attempts to talk but his throat is dry. She gives him a sip of water.

JANE: Hey.

LISBON: It's good to see you.

JANE: Well…I'm relieved. (grimaces a bit)

Lisbon furrows her brow, not quite getting it.

JANE: (weakly) Seems I'm going to live.

LISBON: Yes, you are. (smiles)

JANE: (still groggy) I can see it…in your face. When I woke up the first time…wasn't so sure.

Lisbon realizes he had picked up on her worry during his previous conscious moments.

LISBON: (laments) Oh, Patrick…

JANE: No..s'fine. Gonna be fine. See it in your face.

Lisbon reaches down and strokes his face with her hand. He catches the edge of her hand with a kiss as it passes.

JANE: (closes eyes) Tired.

LISBON: You get some rest.

She plants a kiss on his forehead.

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 **BLACK SCREEN: THREE DAYS LATER**

INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY

Lisbon and Karen walk down the hall. Lisbon is carrying Christopher.

LISBON: We're going to see your daddy!

They approach a room. Christopher's happy babbles are interrupted by a nurse, who storms out of the doorway in front of them, steaming mad.

NURSE: (back over her shoulder into the room) Dr. Grimes is going to hear about this. I have never seen such behavior!

Lisbon looks at Karen and grins. Karen frowns, but Lisbon is delighted.

LISBON: He must be feeling better.

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 **BLACK SCREEN: A FEW WEEKS LATER**

EXT. JANES' HOUSE – EARLY EVENING

Lisbon pulls her car up beside their house where Jane stands waiting for her, dressed in jeans and a work shirt, holding Christopher. She gets out, happy to be home from work.

JANE: (excited) We have something to show you!

LISBON: (puzzled and surprised) What?

Jane takes her hand, pulling her toward the pond.

JANE: Come on.

He leads her down to the pond, where she sees a small rowboat pulled up on the shore. There are two seat cushions, a tiny life vest, and oars. Jane is positively beaming.

JANE: We got a boat! Let's go for a spin around the pond.

He is much too excited for her to refuse, and the baby is waving his arms in anticipation. He knows fun is afoot.

They pile into the simple rowboat, and Christopher doesn't fuss a bit about the lifejacket. Lisbon sits on the front seat, holding the baby, and Jane takes the oars. As he propels them out and around the pond, the oarlocks creak with every slow, deliberate stroke of the oars.

The sun is nearly setting now, and the yellow-orange light gives the entire place a golden glow. Dragonflies and butterflies flit about. A fish jumps. Christopher squeals with delight as several coots "wakwak" to each other as they swim unconcerned beside their craft.

Lisbon's phone buzzes in her pocket. She looks up at Jane, his face a picture of contentment and joy as the sun backlights his hair. She reaches for her phone, and then stops, and drops her hand back down. She's not going to answer it.

Jane is puzzled. He examines her face and then he begins to understand. He smiles at her, fully appreciating this gesture.

JANE: We're almost back.

LISBON: Yeah. It'll wait five minutes.

Jane is clearly moved. He pilots the boat back to the shore near their house, and gets out. Holding the boat close, he takes the baby from Lisbon and holds out a hand to steady her as she steps onto dry land. He nods to her. She nods back.

Lisbon walks toward the house, and pulls out her phone. "Yeah, hey Cho, what's up?"

FADE OUT

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AN: Well, clearly that was more than a sneak peek, but I hope you enjoyed it. Some of the issues raised in this episode will be revisited as the season progresses.


	8. Classic NavyKhaki Pants

I do not own anything about The Mentalist. This is just for fun, and I make no money from writing this stuff.

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Here are the next two sneak peeks. I hope you enjoy them.

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 **Classic Navy 8.09**

 **The team pairs with a homeland security team led by none other than Madeline Hightower to thwart a shadowy group's attempt to import weapons via the Texas coast.**

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INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

The clock on the wall reads 7:55. Madeline Hightower, dressed in a smart navy suit, stands in the front of the room addressing several other agents. Her badge says:

HIGHTOWER, MADELINE

SUPERVISORY AGENT

HOMELAND SECURITY

HIGHTOWER: We have truck full of weapons, discovered in a warehouse here in Austin, and reliable evidence says they entered US territory by boat. We're lead on this one since the merchandise is so similar to the guns we recovered on the Baton Rouge case, but they could be intended for gang purchase, or something of that nature, rather than terrorist imports.

She looks up at the clock.

HIGHTOWER: (CONT'D) For that reason, the FBI is loaning us one of their Austin teams to assist. As soon as they get here, I'll bring….

The conference room door opens and in walks Cho, Lisbon, Ramos, Wylie, and Branch. Hightower and Lisbon break into broad surprised grins, and Cho has an amused look on his face.

HIGHTOWER: Well, well, well.

The Homeland agents look confused.

CHO: (to group) I'm Cho, Austin FBI. We're here to assist. (explaining) Some of us have worked for Agent Hightower before.

HIGHTOWER: Yes, you have. Take a seat and I'll get everyone briefed.

Her raised eyebrow says ' _we have some catching up to do later.'_ She calls up a map onto the large TV screen behind her.

HIGHTOWER: (CONT'D) Here's what we know. The weapons made land somewhere in this area. (puts a pointer on a coastline spot) The truck used for transport was found in a warehouse here in Austin. The driver says he didn't load the truck, and didn't see the vessel. He also says he doesn't know the intended buyer. So, people, we need to know how they got in, and where they were going. Here are your assignments…

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INT. CONFERENCE ROOM- DAY

Clock reads 5:50. Hightower stands in front of room populated by most of same agents from the morning, sans Cho and a couple of Homeland agents.

HIGHTOWER: We've made progress today. Good work everyone. We'll convene back here at 7:30 in the morning.

Lisbon lingers as the other agents file out. She and Hightower grin at each other.

LISBON: Hey, if you're not too tired, I have an idea.

HIGHTOWER: What's that?

LISBON: I could pick up some take out and we could drive down to our place – surprise Jane? I'm sure he'd love to see you.

HIGHTOWER: So he's not a consultant anymore?

LISBON: After Christopher was born he still worked part time. But then..

HIGHTOWER: I heard about the shooting – it was close?

LISBON: Yeah. Scared the crap out of me. Three months ago. He's fine now, but he hasn't worked a case since. Doesn't seem interested.

HIGHTOWER: Too bad. We could use him on this one.

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EXT. JANES' CABIN – DUSK

Two cars pull into the driveway. Lisbon gets out of the first, carrying a big bag of food, and waits for Hightower to emerge from the other car. They walk toward the house and Lisbon puts a finger to her lips. Shhh. There is loud music coming from the cabin.

INT. JANES' CABIN – CONTINUOUS

The front door opens quietly as Lisbon and Hightower slip in. Chuck Berry 's _Johnny B Goode_ blares in the living room, and they peek around the corner to see Jane and Christopher playing air guitar. Father and son face the window overlooking the pond, unaware they are being observed.

Jane is barefoot, dressed in jeans and a T shirt and the child wears only a diaper. As they play air guitar, the baby dances in jerky, toddler motions. The chorus starts. The child sings two words over and over.

CHRISTOPHER: Go Zonny. Go Zonny.

Lisbon covers her mouth with her hand, trying not to laugh out loud, and Hightower's mouth hangs open. She cannot believe her eyes. Jane spies their reflection in the glass in front of him, and turns around with a big, surprised smile. He's not the least bit embarrassed.

JANE: Madeline!

CHRISTOPHER: (turns, sees his mother) MaMa!

The child does a Frankenstein 'new to walking' walk toward Lisbon as Jane cuts off the music. Lisbon hands the bags to Jane and scoops up her delighted son.

Jane looks over Hightower, taking everything in. Notes her relaxed demeanor, the diamond and wedding band on her finger, her smart suit.

JANE: What a surprise. You look great, Agent Hightower. Homeland Security, is it?

HIGHTOWER: (amused) Yes, Homeland. After you took down the Blake Association, I got everything cleared up, and they offered me a good position out of New Orleans. We're in Texas for a case and the higher ups assigned an FBI team to work with us.

LISBON: Guess which team?

JANE: Wonderful. (lifts the bags of food) I'll get some plates. It's a nice night. How about we sit out on the screened porch? Catch up?

EXT. JANES' SCREENED PORCH – NIGHT

The remains of the meal sit on the table as Jane, Lisbon and Hightower relax. The baby sits in his highchair at the table as well, banging a toy against the tray. The toy falls to the floor, and he begins to fuss.

LISBON: I think this guy's had it.

Jane starts to stand, ready to take the baby.

LISBON: (CONT'D) You all stay out here and talk. I'll give him a quick bath and put him to bed.

He begins to cry in earnest. Jane rises out of his chair to give him a kiss on the head.

JANE: Mommy's doing bath tonight.

Lisbon disappears down the hall with the sniffling baby. Jane and Hightower regard one another, as Jane pours himself another half glass of wine. He starts to pour her some, and she shakes her head 'no.'

HIGHTOWER: I've gotta drive.

There's a moment of silence while Jane takes a sip of his wine and both of them reflect on how far they've come.

HIGHTOWER: (CONT'D) I never got a chance to thank you.

JANE: Nor I, _you_. You kept Bob Kirkland from cutting off my thumbs.

HIGHTOWER: Thank you, Patrick. For killing that son of a bitch. You're the only reason I have a life again.

Jane shrugs off the compliment, but smiles.

JANE: You're happy.

HIGHTOWER: I am. Mimi is 14, Will's 12. Rick's daughter is 11. We're a blended family, but it works. He's a widower, you know. I met him at a parent/teacher conference – Mimi's middle school science teacher.

JANE: Strange how such good things can follow such bad ones, isn't it?

A moment passes.

HIGHTOWER: Lisbon says you haven't been back to work. You okay?

JANE: Yeah, I'm fine. Big scar under my ribs here on the right (motions to the area), but I feel fine. All that cop stuff just seems less and less important to me.

Squeals of delight and the sound of running water are heard from down the hall. Jane wags a finger in their direction.

JANE: (CONT'D) Those two people. They are what's important. My only goal for the rest of my life is to keep them healthy and happy.

HIGHTOWER: Teresa misses you, you know? Working cases.

JANE: Meh. She loves what she does whether I'm there or not.

HIGHTOWER: She told me she does.

JANE: (surprised) She did?

HIGHTOWER: Cho's a great cop, but you're more fun. (flashes a devilish grin)

Jane blushes with delight, and stares at his hands.

HIGHTOWER: We could sure use you on this case.

He raises his eyes and squints. _Is this just a ploy to get him to help on her case_? He frowns. _No_ , t _hat's not it._

JANE: If you're worried about me, I'm fine.

HIGHTOWER: I can see that.

She tilts her head and gives him a warm smile.

HIGHTOWER: (CONT'D) It would make Lisbon happy.

JANE: She's worried about me?

HIGHTOWER: Worried might be a strong word.

Jane sits back, considering. Meanwhile, Lisbon reappears.

LISBON: He's down for the count. You must have worn him out today.

JANE: Chuck Berry will do that.

The three of them laugh. Hightower glances at her watch.

HIGHTOWER: I have to go. We've got a lot to do tomorrow.

Hightower rises and Jane follows her lead.

LISBON: It's so good to see you. Maybe we can get together again while you're in town.

HIGHTOWER: Definitely. We need to have a hell of a closed case party.

Jane drapes an arm around Lisbon's shoulders as they walk their guest to the door.

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INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Clock reads 7:20. Only a few agents are seated in the room, and Hightower sits at the front table, working intently on her computer. Gradually other agents filter in, but she is absorbed in her work. She glances up at the time. 7:25. She closes her computer and stands, looks around the room, which is mostly full now.

The door opens. In walk Lisbon and Jane. Hightower smiles, and Jane gives her a little wave. Lisbon looks pleased, and says 'thank you' to Hightower with her eyes.

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INT. HIGHTOWER'S BOSS'S OFFICE – DAY

SUPERVISOR SMITH, (60ish) dour and graying, sits at his desk, glaring at Hightower, who stands before him.

SMITH: You want to search a US Naval vessel for illicit arms? Have you gone mad?

Hightower is obviously uncomfortable, but stands her ground.

HIGHTOWER: No sir, I haven't gone mad. If we search and find nothing, then we know for sure.

SMITH: You're accusing Captain Carlton, a decorated and respected veteran officer, of smuggling arms?

HIGHTOWER: I think this is the right call, sir.

The man stares hard at her for a few moments, yet she holds his gaze.

SMITH: You had better be right, Agent Hightower.

HIGHTOWER: Yes, sir.

She turns and exits his office, muttering under her breath.

HIGHTOWER: (to self) Jane, I sure hope you haven't lost your touch.

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INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Both Homeland and FBI teams are seated as Supervisor Smith addresses them.

SMITH: I'd like to thank both teams here for their exemplary work on this case, and especially Supervisory Agent Hightower, for her excellent judgment and confidence in her teams. I'll be putting a commendation in your files.

Jane starts to make a comment, and Lisbon, sitting next to him, stomps his foot, stopping him.

JANE: (under his breath) Owww.

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INT. O'MALLEY'S BAR – NIGHT

Several members of both the Homeland and FBI teams are seated at a long table, including Jane, Lisbon, Cho, etc. Jane sits between Lisbon and Hightower, and talks to one of the Homeland agents across the table.

HOMELAND AGENT: What first made you suspect Captain Carlton?

JANE: Twitch of his jaw.

HOMELAND AGENT: (incredulous) A twitch?

JANE: He was angry. Then Wylie found out he had an autistic son, and he was trying to get special classes for him that the Navy wasn't providing.

HIGHTOWER: (to the mystified agent) This is how he works. (laughing) Don't try too hard to figure it out –it'll just give you a headache.

LISBON: I'm finally beginning to "get" it, a little bit. Maybe that should scare me.

Jane looks pleased. Takes a sip of his beer.

JANE: Teresa even posed as a psychic a couple of times.

HIGHTOWER: No way.

JANE: Yes, way. She was _very_ good, I might add.

Lisbon blushes. She tucks her arm into his.

LISBON: (just to Jane) It's been nice to have you back.

FADE OUT

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 **8.10 Khaki Pants**

 **Wylie embarks on his first undercover assignment when he infiltrates a San Antonio tech company that received "terrorist" type threats, and Jane suspects an inside job. When things take an unexpected turn, the team must pull out all the stops to get Wylie out safe.**

EXT. SAN ANTONIO TEXAS – DAY

Establish San Antonio skyline, city streets. Pan in on:

Cho, Lisbon, Jane, and Ramos emerge from a contemporary office building. The front glass wall beside the door is lettered EPHEMERAL TECHNOLOGIES. They walk toward the parking lot. Cho answers his phone.

CHO: Cho.

JANE: (to rest of group) I'm famished. (he pats his stomach) All that talk of bytes, I suppose.

Lisbon rolls her eyes.

RAMOS: I'm hungry, too. It _is_ two o'clock.

CHO: (into phone) Wait a minute. (puts hand over phone and speaks to group) I can't hear.

They quiet as all continue to walk toward the car.

CHO: Got it. Thanks, Wylie. We'll be back in Austin (pauses, listening) okay (beat) before five. Tell Branch – we'll brief everyone then.

Cho tucks his phone into his pocket.

CHO: Wylie says his girlfriend says we have to eat at a place called Chris Madrid's.

Everyone perks up at the mention of food.

CHO: Says they have the best burgers she's ever eaten.

RAMOS: That's what I'm talkin' about.

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INT. FBI HQ BULLPEN – DAY

The entire team is gathered in the bullpen, going over the facts of the case. Discussion is in progress.

CHO: We still don't know how those threats got in.

BRANCH: I mean, how in the world could someone know the precise locations?

JANE: There's an inside connection. Has to be.

RAMOS: I don't know how we're going to figure this out. I barely understood what the threat was, what with all the "tech speak."

LISBON: As I understand it, they're threatening to hack a part of the company's highly classified software that they sell to the defense department.

BRANCH: That's about as much as I'm getting, too.

WYLIE: (understands, but doesn't want to embarrass the others) Well, not exactly…

JANE: We need to put someone on the inside. Someone who actually understands all this, and is believable as an employee.

Everyone's head slowly turns to look at Wylie. His eyes get big, and he fidgets uncomfortably.

CHO: (looking straight at Wylie) Someone to go undercover.

WYLIE: I've…never really gone…undercover. By myself.

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INT. EPHEMERAL TECHNOLOGIES OFFICE – DAY

Wylie stands with one of the company's top brass, listening. Wylie is dressed in khakis, a blue ET polo shirt, black glasses, and clunky black shoes. A lanyard around his neck holds a dangling ID badge, and a messenger bag is slung over his shoulder.

COMPANY MAN: Your orientation going okay, Cooper?

WYLIE/COOPER: (flips out mini iPad) Yes, sir. I have the rest of the meeting schedule right here.

COMPANY MAN: Great. Good to have you.

He slaps Wylie/Cooper on the shoulder. As soon as the man walks away, Wylie takes a deep breath, gathering his courage.

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EXT. ROOF OF EPHEMERAL TECHNOLOGIES BLDG - DAY

Wylie jams the roof door shut and races over to hide behind a cooling unit. He looks frightened, and texts madly.

PHONE SCREEN: On roof. They'll be here soon.

PHONE SCREEN REPLY: Chopper on the way. ETA 4 min.

There is violent banging on the jammed door.

PHONE SCREEN: 2 late

The door bursts open. Wylie pulls his gun and chambers a round. The whir of helicopter blades is heard approaching in the distance.

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INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Wylie sits in hospital bed, with girlfriend Olivia Watson standing beside him. He is clearly worse for wear, but in good spirits. Cho, Branch and Ramos all stand in the room, visiting. Jane and Lisbon enter the room. Jane carries Christopher, and Lisbon holds some "GET WELL" balloons.

LISBON: Hey!

Lisbon waves the balloons cheerfully. When Christopher sees Wylie, his face lights up.

CHRISTOPHER: Unka Wy We. Unka Wy We!

They all laugh. Lisbon and Jane approach the bed.

LISBON: How are you feeling?

WYLIE: Much better, thanks.

BRANCH: That one was a little too close for comfort.

CHO: You did great, Wylie. You saved lives.

Olivia looks at him proudly, but also a bit concerned.

JANE: And I promise you, Olivia, that I will never intentionally suggest anything this dangerous for Agent Wylie, here, ever again.

The baby is bouncing and waving his arms excitedly, wanting to go to Wylie.

JANE: Christopher would never forgive me if something happened to his Unka Wywe. (smiles at the name) You know that electronic saxophone you gave him for his birthday never leaves his sight.

Wylie looks pleased, glances at Olivia with affection. They picked that one out together.

LISBON: It's true. He plays that thing constantly. Same four songs.

She narrows her eyes at Wylie.

LISBON: (CONT'D) And if you ever give him anything that makes noise again, I'll put you back in the hospital myself.

Everyone except Jane laughs.

LISBON: (CONT'D) (deadpan) I'm not kidding.

FADE OUT

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Thanks for reading. Next up - The Return of Agent Pike. *cue dissonant music*


	9. Green Eyed Monster 811

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I do not own The Mentalist, and no copyright infringement is intended. Thanks, Heller and Co.

 _AN: After reading that lovely piece by Gray Doll, I was tempted to just quit altogether. If you haven't read it, you must go do so right now. My scribbling doesn't approach that level, and probably never well. But there's a season to finish here…_

 _I'm only including one episode this time, because I needed to address all the "issues" in this one. I hope you enjoy Green Eyed Monster._

 **A senator's long time personal friend (an art dealer) is abducted by an international thieves' group, and Director Shultz insists on bringing in the FBI's crack Art Crimes unit from DC to assist Cho.**

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 **INT. FBI BULLPEN – DAY**

Cho strides purposefully into the bullpen. Wylie, Branch, Ramos and Lisbon all look up.

CHO: We've got one. Abduction of an art dealer. I don't have much yet, but this is going to be political. The dealer is a close friend of Senator Haines.

Looks of dread appear on faces of the team, because they know politics, and inflated egos surely swim like sharks in these waters.

CHO: (CONT'D) Lisbon, we could use Jane on this one.

She pulls out her phone.

LISBON: Hey! (beat) He did!? Can't wait to see that. Yes, other thing is, we've just caught a high profile case and Cho would like for you to work this one. (listens and smiles, glancing at Cho) Yes, lots of big wigs to poke.

She rolls her eyes to the other team members.

LISBON: Wendy's already on her way? Good timing. (beat) Okay, I'll tell him.

She slips the phone back in her pocket.

LISBON: (to Cho) He can be here in half an hour. He already had our regular sitter booked so he could go buy some lumber. That'll wait.

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 **INT. FBI BULLPEN – DAY**

The entire team, including Jane, sits in the conference area of the bullpen. Cho stands before them.

CHO: Stephen Zickle was abducted in the parking lot of a mall.

Picture of Zickle flashes on the screen behind Cho. Well dressed, coifed dark hair. A good looking man.

CHO: (CONT'D) AustinPD says a witness saw a brown van speed off from the scene. Zickle is a close friend of Senator Haines – they've known each other since they were kids, and he is also Haines' art dealer. Haines' office has already received a ransom request from a group of international art thieves. They are offering the return of unharmed Zickle in exchange for three very valuable paintings owned by the Senator.

JANE: Well, that's a new wrinkle. The art is hard to steal, so instead they steal a man and trade it for the art.

He shrugs and wiggles his eyebrows.

JANE: (CONT'D) Ingenious. I like this case already.

Branch and Ramos give Jane a dirty look, but Lisbon stifles a smile and shakes her head.

CHO: The senator is on a plane from DC right now. He contacted Director Schultz before he left, and she's sending the International Art Team from DC to partner with us on this. They've been chasing this ring of thieves for a while and they're familiar with them.

The blood drains out of Lisbon's face. She stares straight ahead. Jane glances at her, concerned.

CHO: (CONT'D) Agent Pike's team will be here in three hours.

Wylie's eyes widen now.

CHO: (CONT'D) We'll reconvene here at 1300. Let's see how much we can find out before then.

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 **INT. FBI BULLPEN – DAY**

Six members of the International Art Team sit in the bullpen presentation area. Branch sits talking to one of them. Cho and Pike stand at the podium, looking at the contents of a folder together.

Ramos and Wylie walk in, take a seat.

Jane and Lisbon emerge from the elevator. Pike looks up. Lisbon and Pike smile at each other in a painfully polite way. Jane nods to Pike and he returns the gesture. There is palpable tension in the room – no one is breathing. Word has gotten around.

Jane and Lisbon take a seat in the back of the group.

CHO: Let's get started.

Pike takes a seat in the front of the room.

 **INT. FBI BULLPEN- DAY**

Most of the agents file out of the area toward the elevator after the briefing. They have their assignments. Lisbon, Jane, and Pike remain seated.

CHO: You three. In my office.

 **INT. CHO'S OFFICE – DAY**

Cho sits behind his desk. There are two 'guest' chairs. Pike and Jane both beckon Lisbon to sit, and neither of them takes the second chair.

CHO: Okay. I need to know that everyone here can work together effectively. This is a big case.

Jane, Lisbon, and Pike all look at each other awkwardly, but without hostility.

PIKE: We're all professionals.

Lisbon nods.

JANE: Well, technically, I'm…

Jane stops abruptly when Lisbon gives him a withering look.

JANE: (CONT'D) Yes.

LISBON: There won't be any problem.

PIKE: No problems.

CHO: Good. Let's go talk to a senator.

Jane motions to all the others in a circular motion, raising his eyebrows in a question.

CHO: Yup. All of us.

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 **INT. SENATOR HAINES' HOME – DAY**

Senator HANK HAINES, 60ish, graying but coifed and fit, sits on a plush velveteen couch in a well-appointed living room. His wife CINDY (early 40's) sits beside him.

Cho and Lisbon sit in chairs. Pike stands behind them. Jane roams around the room, looking at things. Two secret service agents, posted at the doors, eye Jane unhappily. He ignores them.

The interview is in progress. Cho holds a piece of paper in a plastic bag – the ransom note.

CHO: Senator, were you aware of this group of art thieves before today?

SENATOR: I knew there were rings of art thieves, of course, but I wasn't aware of any particular group. Stephen might have been.

The senator looks visibly shaken when he says the name of his friend.

LISBON: How about you, Mrs. Haines?

MRS. HAINES: No, I'm afraid not. I'm not much of an art aficionado. That was always something Hank and Stephen enjoyed together. They could stay up for hours, discussing this painter or that sculptor, analyzing their work.

She glances at her husband.

MRS. HAINES: Hank and I have many other interests in common, but I left those two to their art.

Jane picks up a picture of the senator and his wife off the mantle.

JANE: How long have you two been married?

SENATOR: Twenty one years.

JANE: And how long have you been a US Senator?

SENATOR: Nineteen years. Cindy is my good luck charm. But why is that relevant to this situation?

JANE: Just asking. No children, though?

MRS. HAINES: No, we were never blessed with children. Nathan here (points to the labradoodle lying on the expensive carpet) is our only child.

They both smile, and Nathan flops his tail upon hearing his name.

JANE: Senator, how long have you known Stephen Zickle?

SENATOR: Since high school. Stephen's family moved to my hometown when I was fourteen. Poor Stephen had a rough time of it – his family had trouble making ends meet sometimes. But we hit it off immediately and we were friends through high school. Then I went to Yale, and he worked his way through an art and design school. We didn't stay in close touch at that point.

Jane continues to float around the room, examining things. He notes Pike stealing glances at Lisbon, but Pike is not aware he sees this.

SENATOR: (CONT'D) When I was about thirty or so, we ran into each other at a gallery. He'd become an art dealer and I was a junior state senator. We reconnected and he became my advisor for all my art purchases. He's acquired many pieces for me over the years – most of them excellent investments.

JANE: And you connected him to a lot of potential customers.

SENATOR: Yes, I recommend him. He is very good at his job.

CHO: When was the last time you saw him?

SENATOR: Ten days ago. (laments) Right here at the house.

MRS. HAINES: He was our guest. He and Hank stayed up into the wee hours, talking about art. Stephen left the next morning about noon. His home is in Austin. He runs a gallery there - I'm sure you know that already.

PIKE: Yes, ma'am. Has Mr. Zickle ever been involved in anything illegal, as far as you know?

SENATOR: (incensed) No! Stephen's reputation is spotless.

LISBON: Sir, we have to ask these questions.

SENATOR: (softening) Yes, I know. I'm sorry. It's just…poor Stephen. You must get him back safely.

MRS. HAINES: He does have a reputation – with the ladies.

The senator frowns at his wife.

MRS. HAINES: (CONT'D) Well, Hank, he does. They need to know everything.

LISBON: Thank you, Mrs. Haines. We'll check into that.

PIKE: The pieces they've requested for ransom - they're all housed here?

SENATOR: Yes. All of them are in my private collection. They're in the den if you'd like to see them.

PIKE: Yes, sir. We would.

They all stand. Cho's phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out to check messages.

CHO: I need to take some of these calls. (to Pike and Lisbon) Go ahead, I'll catch up in a few minutes.

Mrs. Haines heads toward the kitchen.

MRS. HAINES: Would anyone like a cup of coffee or tea? I won't be much help downstairs – I can have it ready when you return.

Jane raises a finger.

JANE: I'd love a cup of tea.

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 **INT. SENATOR'S DEN – DAY**

The den is masculinely decorated in dark, rich colors and abundant wood and leather. Several paintings hang on the wall, each lit by its own light. A few sculptures sit around the room as well.

PIKE: Wonderful collection, sir.

SENATOR: (proud) Thank you.

LISBON: How much are the paintings worth that are being asked for as ransom?

SENATOR: Stephen could answer that accurately, but I'd say roughly three and a half million.

Lisbon's eyebrows go up. She glances at Jane, who is appreciating one painting in particular.

SENATOR: They weren't worth that much when I bought them. I paid less than half that much, I'd guess. But Stephen was right about most of these. They've increased in value very quickly.

He looks at all three of the agents, nonverbally requesting their attention.

SENATOR: (with great sincerity) Let me make this clear. None of this means anything when it comes to Stephen's release. I will gladly part with any or all of these if it gets him back safely.

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 **INT. SENATOR HAINES' FOYER – DAY**

Cho, Lisbon and Pike are ready to exit the front door (staffed by a secret service man), as the senator sees them out.

CHO: We'll be in touch soon, sir.

LISBON: Wait. Where's Jane?

She walks back through the house, finds Jane sitting in the kitchen with Mrs. Haines, having a cup of tea and petting Nathan the dog.

LISBON: Jane. We're leaving.

JANE: (stands) Thank you so much, Cindy. I have to go, but we'll be in touch soon.

MRS. HAINES: Thank you, Patrick.

Lisbon gives him a 'WTH?' look as they walk toward the front door.

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 **INT. FBI BULLPEN – DUSK**

Lisbon and Pike are bent over a file on the conference table, talking. Jane walks toward them.

LISBON: So, Kent and LeBlanc are the leaders of this ring?

PIKE: Yes. Since 2011. Kent appears to have the last word.

JANE: (interrupting) Hey, I've got to go pick up Christopher.

Lisbon looks at her watch.

LISBON: Yikes. Oh, okay.

JANE: I'll take care of everything. Stay as long as you need to.

LISBON: Okay. Thanks.

Jane turns toward the elevator and doesn't look back. He trusts her, and he wants both of them to know it. He disappears into the elevator.

Pike and Lisbon look at each other.

PIKE: He did right by you. I'm glad.

She nods hesitantly.

PIKE: You deserved to have whatever life you wanted. (pauses) I was just too late.

Lisbon's flashes a small, bittersweet smile.

LISBON: You're doing well.

PIKE: Yes. I met someone a few months ago. We're getting pretty serious.

LISBON: That's great. You deserve someone wonderful.

PIKE: She is. Her name is Anna. (sits back in chair) I saw the picture on your desk. Of your son.

Lisbon can't help but beam at the mention of her child.

PIKE: He's cute.

LISBON: Thanks.

The awkwardness between them dissipates somewhat. Pike looks down at the file.

PIKE: Guess we'd better get back on this.

LISBON: Right. Kent and LeBlanc.

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 **INT. SENATOR HAINES' HOUSE – DAY**

Cho and Pike's teams are gathered in the dining/living room area, with lots of electronic equipment on the dining table. Both of the senator's security men stand against the wall, looking positively dour. (Haines has insisted on going off without them) Mrs. Haines sits in a chair, listening, looking anxious. Jane lies on the velveteen couch, but he is alert, not relaxed. The drop is going down.

Cho is on the phone with the abductors.

CHO: The senator and our art agent are on the way. They're in a black SUV.

ABDUCTOR VOICE: We have no desire for any violence. The senator gives us the paintings, and you get Zickle back in one piece. We'll give you his location.

CHO: Understood.

The line goes dead. Wylie has a bug in Pike's ear, and he puts him on speaker.

WYLIE: Confirmed from the kidnappers. They say they're waiting for you.

PIKE: (O.S.) We're driving toward the drop spot. The art pieces are secure in the back. The senator is here beside me. Our ETA is about four minutes.

Suddenly Jane rises.

JANE: Mrs. Haines, what happens to all that art here in your house if your husband should die?

LISBON: Jane!

JANE: It's important.

MRS. HAINES: He has it willed to some sort of art trust.

JANE: A trust? Who is the executor?

MRS. HAINES: I think it's Stephen.

Jane rises and hurries over to Wylie.

JANE: (urgently) Call them out.

Everyone looks confused.

CHO: What?

JANE: Abort the drop. It's a trap. They're going to kill the senator. They'll kill Pike too.

PIKE'S TEAM MEMBER #1: What the hell? Who is this guy?

Cho, however, is looking at Jane intently. Jane sees he needs to explain.

JANE: Zickle set this all up. If the senator dies, he gets control of all that art, and nobody will suspect him. It's an abduction gone sour. Zickle escapes and wins the lottery.

Most of Pike's team looks at him in disbelief.

JANE: (emphatically) Now, Cho. Call it off, now.

PIKE TEAM MEMBER #2: Surely you can't be serious!

Cho looks at Pike's man, looks back at Jane, and makes his decision.

CHO: (into Wylie's feed) Pike. This may be a trap. Abort drop. I repeat, abort drop.

PIKE: (O.S.) Understood. Senator, we're aborting the drop.

SENATOR: (heard in background O.S.) No, we can't. They'll kill Stephen!

JANE: No, they won't. It's all his idea.

CHO: (in a walkie talkie to the rest of the teams) The drop is aborted. Set up a one mile perimeter around the drop site. We're expecting them to run.

 **INT. FBI INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY**

Stephen Zickle sits on one side of the table. Jane, Cho, and Pike sit on the other. Zickle is "caught." There's no pretense here.

PIKE: So you planned this starting six months ago.

ZICKLE: (arrogant and unrepentant) I contacted LeBlanc and his clowns six months ago. I've been planning this for years. (bitterly) Years.

PIKE: Haines thought you were friends.

ZICKLE: Hank is a silver spoon fed buffoon – always was. I got tired of his pawing.

Pike and Cho look a bit confused.

JANE: Haines was in love with you, but you didn't swing that way.

ZICKLE: Yes.

Now Pike and Cho really look confused.

JANE: (to Cho and Pike) Haines marriage is a nonsexual one. The butch den, the frilly living room. It was obvious. They are very fond of each other, however. The senator is in love with Mr. Zickle here, who prides himself on his female conquests. (looks at Zickle) But you had to play along, because too much of your livelihood depended on Hank Haines. The connections, the circles of wealthy clients. You needed them. How far would you go for those?

Zickle glares at Jane.

JANE: Oh, that far.

ZICKLE: He owed me a lot more than what those three paintings were worth.

JANE: (realizing something) That's what you tell yourself. But that's not enough reason for you to kill a man. No, you were afraid you were falling for Haines yourself. And you didn't want to admit that.

ZICKLE: That's bullshit!

JANE: (looks smugly pleased with himself) Bingo.

Cho and Pike look at each other, amazed yet again at Jane's 'work.'

 **INT. FBI HQ FOYER - DAY**

Jane walks down the steps toward the front door of the building. He's unaware when Pike emerges from the elevator and hurries after him. Jane is ten feet from the door when Pike catches him. From the open mezzanine above, Lisbon watches the two men. Neither Pike nor Jane realizes she is watching.

PIKE: (a little out of breath, calls after him) Hey Jane.

JANE: (turns, surprised) Pike?

PIKE: Teresa said you were leaving to pick up your son.

Jane looks at him as if to say, "And?"

PIKE: (CONT'D) We're – my team - is leaving tonight. I wanted to thank you. I'd be dead right now if you hadn't seen through this case.

JANE: No need. I'm glad no one was hurt. I really should have figured it out earlier.

PIKE: That's not all I wanted to say, though.

Jane frowns. He's not sure what's coming next.

PIKE: (CONT'D) What I said to you before – back last year. About what you were offering Teresa. I…I was out of line. She is obviously very happy now.

JANE: I hope so. Making her happy was always my intention.

PIKE: I was skeptical. I was wrong…and jealous. But things have worked out for all of us and I wanted to apologize.

JANE: That's kind of you.

Pike offers Jane his hand. They shake.

JANE: (CONT'D) Be well.

PIKE: Take good care of her.

Pike disappears back into the elevator, and Jane exits the front door, with Lisbon watching from above.

 **INT. JANES' CABIN – NIGHT**

Lisbon walks into the living room where Jane is reading a book, and sits down on the couch beside him.

LISBON: Finally - he's asleep. I had to read him three books.

JANE: He didn't get as much exercise today, with the rain. Now that this case is over I'll see to it that he's worn out everyday.

LISBON: I'm kind of glad we worked with Marcus on this one. Leaves things on a better note, you know?

Jane puts down his book. She is working toward asking him something, he can tell.

JANE: What is it that you want to know?

She doesn't even bother being irritated that he read her so well.

LISBON: I saw you talking to Marcus before you left.

JANE: Yes. (knows she wants to know what was said, but is going to make her ask, just because)

LISBON: You seemed on good terms.

JANE: Yes.

LISBON: (getting annoyed at how coy he is being) Well. What did he say?

JANE: He thanked me for saving his life.

LISBON: That's it?

JANE: Well, there was something else.

LISBON: (not bothering to pretend any more) Tell me, dammit.

JANE: Before, when we talked back a year ago…

LISBON: You mean when he asked you if you had a plan for me.

JANE: You seem to remember that well.

LISBON: I do. (unapologetic) You said we were going to do what feels right.

JANE: Back then, he asked me what I was offering you 'besides Patrick Jane.'

LISBON: Huh?

JANE: It wasn't a compliment.

LISBON: Oh. (thinks a moment, then frowns, looking angry) Oh.

JANE: He was hurting.

LISBON: He's got a new girlfriend now, you know. A serious one. He rebounded pretty quickly, come to think of it.

JANE: Meh, he's still a little in love with you.

LISBON: No, he isn't.

JANE: Yes, he is. Can't say that I blame him.

Jane returns to his book, and Lisbon flips on the TV. A few minutes later she looks intently at Jane. He puts down his book.

JANE: (curious) What is it?

LISBON: (with affection) It would have been enough, you know.

JANE: What?

LISBON: Patrick Jane.

JANE: (moved) Oh, Teresa.

Jane looks at her with moist eyes and pulls her close.

FADE OUT


	10. Pumpkin Pie 812

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I do not own anything about The Mentalist, and no copyright infringement is intended. Thanks for TPTB for these great characters we've been given to play with.

 _AN: A **huge** thank you to the guest reviewers - since I can't thank you personally. Everyone's feedback and continued readership of this little project makes it so much more fun._

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Pumpkin Pie – 8.12

 **The Janes' plan to host the Rigsbys for Thanksgiving holiday is interrupted when a child pornography investigation erupts with multiple homicides. Wylie enlists Jane's help to pull off an elaborate proposal to his girlfriend Dr. Olivia Watson, astrophysicist.**

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 **.**

 **INT. GROCERY STORE – NIGHT**

Lisbon and Jane are pushing a shopping cart though aisles of the grocery, with Christopher sitting in the child seat. The cart is piled high with Thanksgiving grocery items, including a huge turkey.

Lisbon reaches onto a shelf to get some canned pumpkin.

JANE: Oh, make sure you get enough for three pies.

LISBON: (skeptical) We're only having a dozen people and Olivia is bringing chocolate cake, too.

JANE: I know, but Rigsby can eat an entire pie by himself, and I want to have some leftover.

She laughs, but puts plenty of pumpkin pie ingredients into the cart.

 **INT. JANES' HOME – DAY**

Lisbon is getting ready for work. Jane is preparing a travel mug of coffee for her with Christopher on his hip.

JANE: (singsong) Here's Mommy's coffee, so she won't shoot anyone this morning.

Lisbon walks into the kitchen, purse and keys in hand, gun on belt.

CHRISTOPHER: Mommy!

She kisses Christopher on the head and Jane on the cheek, and gratefully takes the mug from her husband.

JANE: I'll pick up the Rigsbys at 11:30 at the airport.

LISBON: (wryly) The Airstream is going to give the TSA fits.

JANE: It'll be fun.

 **INT. JANES' HOME – DAY**

Jane is in the kitchen making pumpkin pies with Grace's help while Wayne entertains a very lively group of kids in the adjacent living room.

The PHONE RINGS. Jane picks it up gingerly, trying to keep sticky off of it. The time on the phone reads 3:15.

JANE: Hey!

There is happy squealing and the clatter of kids running in the background.

LISBON: (O.S.) Sounds like the Rigsbys made it.

JANE: Yes, we're making pies. When can you be home?

LISBON: (O.S.) Bad news, I'm afraid. Two FBI agents were killed early this morning on that child pornography case we've been working with Spackman's team. They have two suspects in custody, but we don't have enough evidence to charge them.

Children's laughter erupts in the background behind Jane.

JANE: Hang on. Can't hear.

Grace motions that she'll take care of the pies, and Jane walks down the hall toward the bedroom, where it is quieter.

JANE: (CONT'D) Now, go ahead. No evidence?

LISBON: (O.S.) Cho wants to know if you'll come in and help with the interrogation.

JANE: (looking back toward his guests) We've got a houseful of guests, Teresa.

LISBON: (O.S.) These guys film people having sex with children, Jane. And the two agents who were killed both had families. Wayne and Grace will understand. Besides, you don't have to stay. Just see if you can crack one of these two.

Jane sighs.

 **INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS – DAY**

Jane walks into the observation room to join Lisbon, where they observe through the glass. The interrogation of one suspect is already in progress. Cho and Spackman are asking the questions.

LISBON: Thanks. How are things going?

JANE: It's a madhouse. (smiles) And very wonderful. So let's make this quick.

LISBON: It's not going to be easy. This one is a disbarred lawyer. He knows that _we_ know that he and the other guy are guilty, but he also knows we don't have enough evidence to hold him.

JANE: Where's the other one?

 **INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS – DAY**

A second suspect is in a different interrogation room, and Jane and Lisbon walk into the observation room to watch his questioning. Ramos and one of Spackman's agents are the questioners. Ramos slips a photograph of two children across the table for the suspect to look at. The second suspect's eyes are shark like, his demeanor confident and controlled.

 **ALTERNATE INTERROGATION ROOM/BEHIND GLASS**

RAMOS: (simmering disgust for the suspect) You pretended to befriend these runaway kids and then made them participate in pornographic videos.

SUSPECT #2: (calmly) I've never seen those kids before in my life.

 **BEHIND GLASS**

JANE: This one is a sociopath for sure. Absolutely no conscience.

 **IN ROOM**

Suspect #2 smiles a smile devoid of humanity.

SUSPECT #2: But they are _very_ pretty. I'm sure whoever used these two made quality films.

Ramos seethes.

SUSPECT #2 (CONT'D): Why do you bother with these children, anyway? They've been discarded. The people who filmed them are just recycling, don't you think? (smiles) Recycling is the rage these days.

 **BEHIND GLASS**

Jane involuntarily takes a step toward the man. Lisbon puts a hand on his shoulder.

LISBON: I know. I'd like to strangle him, too. But then he'd get off. How are we going to get this son of a bitch to talk?

Jane shakes his head.

 **INT. FBI HEADQUARTERS – DAY**

Cho, Spackman, Lisbon, Jane, and Ramos stand in the hall outside the interrogation rooms.

CHO: We've got nothing and they aren't talking. We can't hold them any longer. We'll just have to dig harder and find some useable evidence.

The first suspect (the disbarred lawyer) is led out of the room. Jane surprises the group by walking toward him. Lisbon is immediately concerned, but Jane waves at her, letting her know that he is calm.

Jane moves close to the suspect and whispers something in his ear. The suspect looks taken aback, and then glowers.

JANE: (to suspect #1) You can go.

SPACKMAN: (to group, mystified) What the hell?

Suspect #1 is escorted to the elevator by an agent and the doors close just as the Suspect #2 is led out of the interrogation room, and his handcuffs are removed. Jane walks up to him as well, and whispers something into his ear.

He looks shocked, and steps back from Jane, but says nothing.

JANE: (to suspect #2) You can go.

Suspect #2 is escorted out as well.

SPACKMAN: What did you say to them, Jane?

The group of agents all look at Jane, wondering the same thing.

JANE: I simply told them they shouldn't break the law any more.

There is a collective eye roll. Obviously Jane isn't going to tell them. Jane immediately changes gears.

JANE: (cheerily, with flourish) And now, I have a feast to prepare! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, you know.

The team disperses energetically. They all want to find some evidence to put these two horrible perps away. Lisbon waits to talk to Jane alone.

LISBON: I don't know when I'll be home. I'm sorry.

JANE: Not to worry. Grace, Wayne and I can handle the "day before" preparations. Just get home when you can.

LISBON: (grateful for his understanding) Thank you.

She heads to her desk to get busy, and Wylie appears from around the corner.

WYLIE: Jane!

He approaches Jane and lowers his voice.

WYLIE: (disappointed) I guess the "thing" tomorrow is off…

JANE: Oh, I don't know. Maybe there will be a break in this one. If so, get there early and we can get things all set up. You can pop the question in style.

WYLIE: (dubious) I don't know – I may have to put it off. We may be lucky to get out of here in time for dinner tomorrow.

 **INT. JANES' HOUSE – NIGHT**

Jane and Grace are putting the finishing touches on the sweet potato casserole. The sound of cartoons can be heard. Wayne and the kids are watching Bugs Bunny in the living room.

JANE: There – this'll go in the fridge and all we'll have to do tomorrow is heat it.

Jane's phone rings. He wipes his hands and answers.

JANE: Teresa!

LISBON: (O.S.) I'm on my way home.

JANE: Splendid. I saved a plate of spaghetti for you.

LISBON: Jane. What did you say to those two? One of Spackman's men just found them both dead. Apparently they shot each other.

JANE: Like I said, I told them they shouldn't break the law.

LISBON: (O.S.) Right. We'll talk about this later.

JANE: So the case is closed.

LISBON: (O.S.) Yes. We're off tomorrow. The rest of the paperwork can be done Friday. Oh, by the way, I've invited Spackman to dinner tomorrow. His family went to his mother-in-law's in Denver because they thought he was going to have to work tomorrow.

JANE: The more the merrier. Oh, and by the way, please tell Wylie he needs to be here in the morning as soon as there is good light.

LISBON: (O.S.) Huh?

JANE: Just tell him.

 **EXT. JANES' PROPERTY – DAWN**

Jane and Wylie are stringing up a large rectangular piece of black cloth so that it lies parallel to the ground, only up in the air about twelve feet or so. When they are finished, the cloth hangs over a clear area, with it's corners attached by strings to various tree limbs.

JANE: Do you have the light?

WYLIE: Yup. Right here.

Wylie hides a large light with a homemade cover over it in the bushes, and arranges it so it shines on the black cloth.

WYLIE: I've got the remote right here.

He flips the light on and off to make sure it works.

JANE: (excited) Excellent!

WYLIE: I just hope it all works…

JANE clasps an anxious Wylie on the shoulder.

JANE: That, my good man, is up to Olivia. Let's go get some eggs, shall we? Got to shore up my strength for all that cooking today.

 **INT. JANES' HOUSE – NIGHT**

A long table has been pieced together with various sizes of tables. The group sits around the candlelit table(s). A huge roasted turkey sits on a platter at one end, and Jane stands to carve it.

The group includes Lisbon, Christopher (in a high chair) Grace and Wayne, their three children, Cho and his new girlfriend, Wylie and Olivia, and Spackman. Ben Rigsby has taken a liking to Spackman, and sits beside him, watching his every move.

There are smiles and laughter as the food is passed around. Jane stops the activity by plinking his wine glass to get everyone's attention.

JANE: (holding up his glass in a toast) For friends, old and new, we are thankful.

 **EXT. JANES' PROPERTY- NIGHT**

Wylie and Olivia step outside onto the Jane's front porch. The weather is beautiful, and there's enough moonlight to see reasonably well.

WYLIE: This is such a great place, don't you think?

OLIVIA (Wylie's girlfriend, the astrophysicist): Gorgeous.

WYLIE: Let's take a little walk. I'll show you around.

He beckons to her, holding out his hand. She takes it. They walk around the pond, to a private area.

WYLIE: If we lie down here on the ground, I bet we can see the Milky Way!

OLIVIA: (nods excitedly) It's so nice and dark outside away from the city lights.

They lie down at the spot Wylie has picked out, and look upward. At first Olivia frowns – there's a black space in the sky. Wylie reaches into his pocket and flips the remote to the light he has hidden there early in the morning.

Projected onto the black cloth above them, appearing to be "stars," are dots of light spelling out, "OLIVIA WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

She does a double take, unable to fathom this for a few seconds. And then…

OLIVIA: Oh my God! Jason! Yes, yes I'll marry you. This is…how did…

She looks at him and he produces a ring from his pocket, holding it up for her approval. She nods.

OLIVIA: It's beautiful!

Wylie puts the ring on her finger and they embrace.

 **EXT. AUSTIN AIRPORT – DAY**

The Rigsby family piles out of the Airstream onto the Departures sidewalk, and Jane and Lisbon help them with their suitcases.

WAYNE: Thanks for everything – what a great weekend.

GRACE: It was great – Christopher is adorable. You all have such a wonderful place. I'm sooo happy for you.

Jane and Lisbon give them all hugs, and the Rigsby family heads into the terminal.

 **INT. JANES' HOME – NIGHT**

Jane closes the door to the nursery and walks down the hall toward the living room. Lisbon is stirring in the kitchen.

LISBON: (calling out) That was fast.

JANE: He was exhausted.

LISBON: How about a cup of tea – I'll fix it. And I saved you a piece of pumpkin pie.

JANE: (eyes light up) I'd love that. I can get it.

LISBON: Nope. Just sit down there on the couch. You did most of the cooking all weekend.

JANE: (gratefully sinks into the couch) That's sweet of you. I enjoyed the cooking, though.

LISBON: (from the kitchen) Lots of whipped cream, right?

JANE: Please.

Lisbon walks into the living room with a tray, holding two cups and a plate with a piece of pumpkin pie, piled high with whipped cream. Jane looks up and smiles. She sits it on the coffee table and takes a seat beside him on the couch. Sips her drink.

JANE: I think it all went well, don't you?

LISBON: Absolutely. It was crazy, but yeah…fun.

JANE: I never had stuff like this when I was a kid, Teresa. It's nice. Maybe next year we should have your brothers.

Lisbon's eyes widen. Knows that's an order of magnitude wilder weekend.

LISBON: We can think about that later.

They laugh, and Jane turns to his piece of pie. His eyes shine as he reaches for it, and he pauses for a second with his fork poised over the confection.

JANE: Thanks for saving this for me.

LISBON: No problem. (laughs) You were right about Rigsby eating a whole pie.

Jane digs into the piece of pie, but his fork hits something hard in the whipped cream.

JANE: What?

He pulls something out with his fingers and licks off enough whipped cream off until he realizes it is a small pacifier. He turns it side to side.

JANE: Christopher hasn't used one of these since he was a few…days…

He looks at Lisbon, who is smiling like the cat who ate the canary.

JANE: Teresa?

She nods.

JANE: (CONT'D) (dumbfounded) Really? Again?

She nods.

LISBON: (pleased) Again.

He puts down the pie and pulls her into a bear hug.

 **FADE OUT**

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Thanks for sticking with my Season 8, folks. One more, and it's done.


	11. White Knuckles 813

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I do not own The Mentalist. No copyright infringement is intended. No money made.

A _N: Sorry, this Season 8 finale episode was delayed because of football. (We Mentalist fans are used to that.) I got a little carried away, so this is a lot more than a sneak peek, but hey, it's the last installment._

 _Something you should recall from the previous episode - Lisbon has just revealed to Jane that she is pregnant again. I hope you enjoy White Knuckles._

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 **INT. FBI HQ – DAY**

Cho's team members sit working at their desks in the bullpen, except for Ramos, who is absent. Jane is settled on his couch, reading a book. He looks up.

JANE: Lisbon, when will Fraud have that suspect here for me to question?

LISBON: (without looking back at him – he's asked this before) It'll be at least another thirty minutes.

JANE: I'm supposed to be home in an hour and a half. Wendy can't stay - she has a class.

LISBON: (unconcerned) You'll have plenty of time.

Cho walks into the bullpen, and the team members look up at him.

CHO: Hey, I just talked to Ramos. Things are going well – should be back to work in two weeks. Before Christmas.

BRANCH: That's great.

WYLIE: He was lucky it wasn't worse.

JANE: (lots of subtext for Lisbon) Yes, he was fortunate that the bad guys were bad shots.

CHO: He'll be on desk duty for a month after that, until he gets the cast off that leg.

Cho's phone buzzes. He pulls it out and answers.

CHO: (CONT'D) Cho. (he frowns) Sure. On our way.

He punches out of the call.

CHO: (CONT'D) (to team) White Collar Crimes team has a bust that's going bad just a few blocks from here. One of their guys is being held – they want help. Wylie, you stay here and help Jane with Jackson's team. You two (motions to Lisbon and Branch) – let's go. I'll meet you in the parking lot.

Cho hurries to his office. Jane looks at Lisbon with concern as she checks her gun and grabs her vest, but he doesn't say anything.

LISBON: (quietly to Jane) I'll be careful.

Jane lies down on his couch and closes his eyes, willing himself calm, rubbing his fingers together madly.

 **INT. FBI ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS**

Lisbon and Branch face forward as the door closes.

BRANCH: No offense, but I'm glad Cho didn't leave me there with Jane.

LISBON: (frowning) He _is_ a challenge to work with sometimes.

BRANCH: Oh, no, I don't mind working with him. It's just when you go out into the field and leave him behind, he's like a long tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs. Especially lately.

LISBON: Huh?

BRANCH: Sorry – my Grandma Branch used to say that. He - ya know - worries. He thinks we don't notice, but…

LISBON: Oh.

The elevator door opens and halts the conversation, as the two agents hurry to the parking lot.

 **INT. BULLPEN – DAY**

Cho, Branch, and Lisbon return to the bullpen, and put away their gear.

WYLIE: How'd it go?

BRANCH: They saw they were surrounded. The perps surrendered. The agent was fine.

WYLIE: Great. Jane cracked the Fraud suspect in about five minutes and went home.

LISBON: (to herself) I should text him.

Seen as she types on phone screen:

 _Back in the office, no shots fired. Should I bring dinner home? And yes, I'm going to tell Cho today._

CHO: Lisbon, can I talk to you in my office for a minute?

LISBON: Sure. (has no idea what this is about)

 **INT. CHO'S OFFICE – DAY**

CHO: I saw Givens at the takedown and he reminded me of something I'm supposed to pass along to you.

LISBON: What's that?

CHO: Benny Yeager, the Victim's Assistance Project Manger, is retiring. They're looking for a replacement, and your name came up. I told them I thought you wanted to stay in the field, but that I'd mention it to you.

LISBON: (shocked) Me? That's a supervisory position.

CHO: You've got plenty of experience with that, from back in the CBI. It would be more regular hours. Some travel, but less than here. And a pay raise. I'd hate to lose you, but I wanted to let you know. The job description is up on the FBI site.

LISBON: Wow. Just. Wow. (recovering from surprise and focusing) There's something I wanted to tell you, too. Interesting timing.

CHO: What's that?

LISBON: Well. (with hesitation) We're expecting again.

Cho's face lights up with surprise and he allows a smile to escape.

CHO: Again?

LISBON: I know. (a little embarrassed) Who'd have thought?

CHO: Congratulations.

LISBON: Thanks. And thanks for letting me know about the job. I'll take a look at it.

CHO: You're going to be out of the field for six months anyway. Maybe you should give it a try, and if you hate it, you can come always back here after the baby is born.

LISBON: (considers) Not a bad thought.

CHO: One other thing – ask Jane to come in and see me. The powers that be want to see if he'll teach a class to the profilers. Show them what he does.

LISBON: (grinning) Jane, teaching a class?

CHO: Just passing the info along.

 **BLACK SCREEN: THREE MONTHS LATER**

 **INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY**

A group of about twenty young men and women sit in a lecture hall. On the stage, a man in an orange prison jump suit sits with his hands cuffed in front of him, his elbows resting on a folding table. Across the table from the prisoner sits a male student, ROBERT, and Jane stands behind him, watching and listening.

Up in the back of the room in the shadows, Lisbon slips in the door to watch unnoticed. Her pregnancy is showing but she is not huge, and she is dressed in a smart blue maternity suit. She focuses on what's going on down at the front of the room with interest.

ROBERT: Were you having an affair with your brother's wife?

PRISONER: No!

Robert looks back at Jane.

ROBERT: Lie?

JANE: (to Robert) Very good. (turns to class) Never be afraid of asking the impolite questions, because that's what will provoke the emotional responses you are looking for. That's where you get your answers.

A female student, GAIL SANDERS, raises her hand from her seat in the front row.

JANE: Ms. Sanders? Gail, isn't it?

GAIL: Yes. That's all well and good for you, Mr. Jane, but if we asked a question like that to a prominent citizen, or somebody with power, they would complain. It would be very bad for our careers.

JANE: Are you there to do your job, or further your career?

A collective chortle goes through the room of students – she's been burned. She turns a bit red.

GAIL: (angry but composed) We can't catch killers if we lose our jobs.

Jane nods, conceding her point, but the room belongs to Jane.

JANE: Fair enough. But all of this –"

Jane makes a flourish with his hand including the prisoner and the student on stage.

JANE: (CONT'D) - won't do you any good if you only ask the nice, polite questions.

He turns back to the two men on the stage.

JANE: (CONT'D) Go on, Robert.

 **INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY**

The prisoner is gone and the students have mostly filed out of the room as Jane gathers his papers at the podium. His face brightens when he sees Lisbon walking down the steps to join him.

LISBON: Hey!

Jane kisses her cheek, surprised she is there.

JANE: And to what do I owe this pleasure?

LISBON: I was in this building for a meeting, and it let out early. I thought we might do a late lunch, if you haven't already eaten.

JANE: Splendid!

 **EXT. OUTDOOR CAFÉ – DAY**

Jane and Lisbon sit at an outdoor table, eating lunch. Lisbon has a lot of food in front of her, and is very animated, telling Jane something she is excited about.

LISBON: (story in progress) …I think this new program has a lot of potential to really help the trafficking victims. It should be up and running in six weeks.

She looks pleased with herself, and takes a big bite of her turkey sandwich.

JANE: (very cautiously) So. You like this new job, don't you?

Lisbon understands where this is coming from immediately. She wipes a bit of mayo from the corner of her mouth with her napkin.

LISBON: You really _want_ me to like this job, don't you?

JANE: (resolutely, but softly – almost a whisper) Desperately.

Lisbon smiles sympathetically.

LISBON: So far, I do really like it.

Jane smiles back, looking very hopeful.

LISBON: (CONT'D) I'm not ready to commit for the long term, but so far, so good.

JANE: I couldn't be happier to hear that, m'dear. Would you like some of my fries?

Her eyes fall hungrily to his plate.

LISBON: Sure. A few. How do you like teaching, Professor Jane?

She reaches over and grabs a fry from his plate, smiling. He chuckles, ducking his head slightly, a bit uncomfortable with the fact he's become an FBI authority figure.

JANE: It's interesting, I must say. The talent of the students varies wildly. There are a few who are still skeptics, but there are a couple with true potential. Quite observant.

LISBON: You were kinda hard on that girl.

JANE: Meh. Not one of my favorites. Not sure why, but I always get the urge to wind that one up. She'll be a fine bureaucrat some day.

LISBON: Part of this is your evaluating the students for placement, too, right?

JANE: Yes, but that's hush hush. The students aren't supposed to know that.

LISBON: That seems unfair.

He takes a sip of his tea and sits back.

JANE: I didn't design the program, Teresa. I'm just doing what they want me to do. (impishly) I'm not a program director like you are.

LISBON: Oh, hush. (purposefully changing the subject) You know I've seen that student at the outdoor snack shop a few times. She meets some man there.

JANE: I think she's married.

LISBON: Must be her husband, then. He's a runner. Tank top, shorts. Lots of muscles.

Jane's eyebrows rise. He is amused. Lisbon rolls her eyes.

LISBON: (CONT'D) I noticed him because both of his arms are covered in tattoos. All the way up. The upper arms have these hands on them that look like someone is holding him. With these big knuckles.

She pretends to grab someone by the shoulders.

LISBON: (CONT'D) Very unusual.

JANE: I would have figured she'd go for someone more vanilla. Interesting.

Lisbon shrugs.

LISBON: Would you have figured you were my type?

JANE: Of course.

LISBON: Liar. (eyes twinkling) Oh, by the way, I can take Christopher in for his check up on Friday. My meeting got cancelled.

JANE: Whew. I don't have to be the bad guy this time. He's due for a bunch of shots.

LISBON: You didn't tell me that!

JANE: (grinning) You didn't ask.

 **INT. JANES' CABIN – DAY**

Lisbon steps inside the front door of their home. The babysitter, WENDY, early to mid 20's, meets Lisbon at the door. She holds a excited Christopher, and he reaches for Lisbon.

CHRISTOPHER: Mommy! Go Mommy!

Lisbon plops her purse on the table and takes the child.

LISBON: Mommy's home early so I can take you to the doctor, big guy.

WENDY: (good naturedly) Fun, fun.

LISBON: He has no idea. So – we'll see you Monday afternoon? Jane has to be in at two.

WENDY: Got it. I'll be here by one.

Lisbon's phone buzzes.

LISBON: (look of dread) Wait. Surely this isn't…

She checks her phone.

LISBON: Oh, it's just daddy.

Lisbon sees the text:

 _I'm staying after class for awhile. I may be pretty late._

LISBON: What the…? (to Wendy) Why would he pick today to keep me informed of his whereabouts? That doesn't sound like him a bit.

Lisbon laughs and shrugs.

LISBON: Anyway. False alarm. Not work. Get out of here and have a great weekend!

 **INT. PEDIATRICIAN'S WAITING ROOM – DAY**

Lisbon sits in a waiting room chair, watching Christopher play with a big plastic bulldozer on the floor. Beside her, a woman holds an eight year old girl in her lap, and the child is drawing. The mother turns the tablet over to a clean sheet of paper and makes four big dots on the blank paper with the pencil.

MOTHER: Now, you draw something from those.

The girl begins to draw an elaborate group of mermaids, incorporating the four dots. She is talented.

FLASHBACK: Lisbon sees the tattoos on the man's arm (Sanders' husband) that she told Jane about.

The image of the tattoo is clear in her mind, and she realizes that three equidistant dots have been incorporated into the image of the knuckles of the tattooed hand.

LISBON: (quietly, to herself) Oh my God.

She pulls out her phone and tries to call Jane. It goes to voicemail. She stands and walks over in the corner so nobody can hear what she is saying and calls Wylie.

LISBON: Hey, Wylie?

WYLIE: (V.O.) (surprised) Lisbon! What's up? How are you?

LISBON: I'm fine. Would you do me a favor? I mean, I know I'm not part…

WYLIE: (V.O.) (interrupting) Sure.

LISBON: I need for you to research one of the students in Jane's Profiling class. Specifically, a woman, brown hair, I think her name is Sanders. Find everything you can on her, and on her husband.

WYLIE: What's this about?

LISBON: Something strange is going on. I'm at the doctor's office with Christopher right now but I'll come by as soon as I get out.

WYLIE: Okay. I'll get right to work on it. It's a slow day here anyway.

 **EXT. HOUSE IN AUSTIN SUBURBIA – DAY**

A nondescript blue sedan pulls into the garage of a generic home, and the door shuts behind it.

 **INT. GARAGE – DAY**

Gail Sanders and her husband stand behind the trunk of the blue sedan, which is enclosed in the garage, out of sight.

GAIL: Ready?

She chambers a round into her handgun, and her husband opens the trunk to reveal Jane lying in the trunk. A bit groggy, he squints into the light. His hands are duct taped at the wrists in front of him, and there is a small cut on his forehead.

GAIL: (brandishing gun) Out.

The husband reaches down and yanks Jane out of the trunk, standing him up on the garage floor.

GAIL: Inside. (motioning with gun) To the basement.

 **INT. BASEMENT – DAY**

The husband shoves Jane roughly down into a ladder back chair in the middle of the mostly bare basement and runs a few rounds of duct tape around Jane's torso, tying him to the chair. The room is lit by greenish florescent lights, one of which flickers constantly. Gail and her husband look at him with great satisfaction. They have captured their prey.

JANE: Why am I here? (glib) If this is about your grade, I'll definitely give you an "A" if you'll let me out of here.

GAIL: (with an evil grin) You killed my father, prepare to die!

Her husband is very amused at the movie quote. Jane is not.

JANE: Who is your father?

GAIL: Was. Gale Bertram was my father. Until you killed him.

JANE: (eyes widen) Gale. Gail. Ah… (to husband) So you must be Mr. Sanders? Are you just helping her do this because she asked you to?

HUSBAND: Ray Haffner was a good friend of mine.

JANE: I see. (pauses for a moment) If I may say in my defense, I didn't kill either of those people.

GAIL: Liar! (to husband) He's lying. (to Jane) See, I have learned something in your class.

JANE: On the contrary, this proves you haven't learned a thing. I'm telling the truth. Thomas McAllister planted the bomb that killed Ray Haffner, and one of his henchman killed your father.

GAIL: (a bit more unhinged) Liar! You killed them. You shamed my father on national TV while I watched. Said he was a serial killer. I saw you.

JANE: Your father wasn't a serial killer, but he _was_ a very dirty cop.

GAIL: (really angry now) I'm not just going to kill you. First, I'm going to kill that little cop wife of yours, and the kid, too.

Jane wills himself not to react.

GAIL: (calmer, determined) And you can watch them report _that_ on TV. And then, after you see that? Then. Then, I'm going to kill you.

 **INT. CBI BULLPEN – DAY**

Lisbon hurries into the bullpen from the elevator, Christopher on her hip. She makes a beeline to Wylie's desk. He hears her coming and looks up. Christopher spies Wylie.

CHRISTOPHER: Unka WyWee!

Wylie's face lights up.

WYLIE: Christopher, my man! (to Lisbon) I've got a lot of stuff you might be interested in. What's going on, anyway?

LISBON: Not sure. I got a strange text from Jane. And I think the husband of one of the students might be an ex Blake Association person – you know, that crooked law enforcement web we uncovered back at the CBI.

Christopher is bouncing unhappily on Lisbon's hip, reaching out, wanting to go to Wylie.

CHRISTOPHER: Me go Unka WyWee!

WYLIE: Here, come here.

He reaches up and accepts the child from Lisbon.

WYLIE: (CONT'D) (to the child) You have to sit quietly – Unka Wywee has to talk to Mommy.

The child stops whining and sits contentedly on Wylie's lap.

WYLIE: (CONT'D) The student you were interested in is Gail Sanders, right?

LISBON: Yes.

WYLIE: It wasn't easy to dig up her background, but turns out her father was Gale Bertram – the ex CBI director.

LISBON: Holy sh…sheep dip!

WYLIE: There's more. Her husband is an ex-CBI man. He started working for an agent named Ray Haffner, but then he quit the CBI and worked in security for awhile. Now he works for an IT company here in Austin. They were married in California about four years ago.

Lisbon looks very worried. She pulls out her phone. 'Dials' Jane. It goes to voice mail.

LISBON: Would you ping Jane's phone?

Wylie manages to type with the child on his lap.

WYLIE: Shows up in Anderson Hall – that's where he teaches, right?

LISBON: (looks a little relieved, but not completely) Maybe he's there. But…

She pulls out her phone. Punches in a number.

LISBON: (CONT'D) Hello. Yes, this is the security desk at Anderson Hall? This is Special Agent Teresa Lisbon and I need for you to go check on something for me, please. See if Patrick Jane is in Room 324. He's supposed to be teaching a class there, and I need to reach him. (beat) Thanks. I'll hold.

While she waits, she gets a little car out of her purse and hands it to Christopher, who begins to roll it on Wylie's desk.

LISBON: (CONT'D) Yes, I'm here. (blanches as she listens) Yes, hold it for me there, please.

She punches out of the call.

LISBON: (to Wylie) They found Jane's phone sitting on the podium. No trace of him. I don't like this. This isn't right.

She turns and walks toward Cho's office.

 **INT. BULLPEN – DAY**

Cho's team members are all engaged now, going over things in the bullpen. Christopher is busy running toy cars over Jane's couch.

CHO: Branch, you and Ramos get the parking lot camera footage. Wylie, you check the satellite images.

LISBON: (hesitantly) Wait – I may have something easier.

She pulls an iPad mini from her purse.

LISBON: (CONT'D) I. (halts)

The team focuses on her expectantly. She scrunches her eyes, and then resolves to just say it.

LISBON: (CONT'D) When I bought Jane that new pair of shoes, right after we were married, I had a tracking device put in the heel.

RAMOS: You what?

Cho raises his eyebrows and almost smiles. Branch snorts. Wylie is the only one not shocked.

LISBON: (red faced) I know. It's horrible. But after that Lazarus thing, I just…

WYLIE: (impatiently) Give me the information and I'll find it.

She pulls a page up on the iPad and puts the device on his desk so he can see it.

 **INT. HOUSE IN AUSTIN SUBURBIA – DAY**

FBI teams storm into the house, where they find Gail Sanders and her husband eating in the kitchen. They apprehend the couple. The team shouts their "clears" from all the rooms, but Lisbon notices Gail trying not to look at the basement door.

LISBON: The basement.

They rush down the stairs, weapons at the ready, to find Jane sitting in the chair, looking relatively unharmed. Lisbon rushes to his side.

LISBON: Are you okay?

JANE: Certainly glad to see you. (looks very relieved) I'm very impressed, m'dear. I couldn't work out any way I could be found.

LISBON: It's…it's a long story. Let's get you untied.

JANE: How _did_ you find me?

LISBON: I, uh, had a bug put in your shoe.

JANE: (incredulous) You _WHAT_?

 **INT. FBI INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY**

Jane and Cho are finishing up talking to Gail Sanders' husband. They rise to leave the room, and Jane turns back to the man.

JANE: I must say, those tattoos are works of art. Who did them for you?

HUSBAND: (proudly) Arturo Hernandez. Has a place down on Lamar. (kisses the tips of his thumb and first two fingers) He is an artiste.

 **INT. JANES' CAR – DAY**

It is a different day. Jane is driving and Lisbon is the passenger. The carseat is empty. She frowns when he takes an unfamiliar turn.

LISBON: Where are we going?

JANE: Teresa, we need to take a little detour before we go home.

LISBON: (more insistent) Where are we going?

JANE: You'll see. (with a little edge) You can follow my shoe.

Lisbon glares at him.

 **EXT. LAMAR STREET – AUSTIN – DAY**

Jane's car parks on the street outside a business: ARTURO'S TATTOOS.

 **INT. ARTURO'S TATTOOS – DAY**

Jane and Lisbon walk in through the front door. The bells on the handle announce their arrival into the shop. They look around. The walls are lined with elaborate tattoo designs. A small, soft spoken Latino man – ARTURO - greets them from the rear.

ARTURO: Good afternoon. What can I do for you?

JANE: I'm thinking about getting a tattoo altered.

Lisbon stifles a smile.

JANE: (CONT'D) A friend of mine recommended you. Mike Sanders. Do you remember him? He had some dots on his shoulder and you turned them into knuckles.

ARTURO: It's been at least three years, but yeah, I do remember that guy. I probably have a picture of it – I keep records of all my work.

JANE: I'd love to see it.

ARTURO: Gimme a minute.

He begins to go through pictures on his laptop. Jane and Lisbon wander around the room, looking at the designs. Jane points out a small, ornate butterfly design to his wife.

JANE: How about this one?

He points to the upper part of his butt.

JANE: (CONT'D) Right there.

He grins, but then narrows his eyes at his wife with surprise.

JANE: (CONT'D) (surprised) Your pupils dilated! Why, Teresa, I had no idea…

LISBON: (blushing) Did not!

She is rescued by the tattoo artist.

ARTURO: Here it is!

Jane leaves a flustered Lisbon and walks across the room to look at Arturo's laptop picture.

JANE: Yes, that's it. Beautiful work. It's very hard to see the dots. Bravo, Lisbon, for noticing this.

ARTURO: I did another one to cover up three dots not long after that.

JANE: (instantly more interested) Really? Can I see it?

ARTURO: Sure. Made those dots into flowers the second time. I don't wanna brag, but I'm damn good.

The man scrolls to a picture of a fiftyish woman with an elaborate flower design on her shoulder. Jane does a double take at the picture.

JANE: (wide eyed) Lisssbonnnnn!

She hurries over to look.

On the laptop is a picture of a woman who just happens to be FBI Regional Director Alexa Shultz, showing off the floral tattoo that trails from her shoulder to her upper arm.

LISBON: Oh my God.

Jane and Lisbon look at each other, realizing the many implications of this new found information.

 **FADE OUT**

.

.

.

.

That concludes my Season 8, and I'm not going to apologize for the open ending. That's the way seasons end, right? I have no plans to write a Season 9 – no time and no ideas.

Honestly, to write anything vaguely interesting, I would have to introduce some sort of major conflict, and all I really want for Jane and Lisbon now is for them to live happily ever after. I'm done with doing mean things to them. I'm going to 'just let them be happy,' at least in my mind. I may add a chapter to Partners if I get an idea from time to time, because the thought of a happy Jane and Lisbon, baby in tow, makes my heart glow. I'm so grateful we got such a satisfying ending.

A huge and heartfelt thank you to all the reviewers who have kindly supported me through this "season." It was great fun to write.

.

Hayseed


End file.
